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A man of peculiar character, who is too cool for school. The easy target he is, he gets irritated too easily. This makes him an even easier target. Although he has an imposing nature people typically ignore not only his opinion but also his persona. His high pitched battle cry "Krghaaa" announces his imminent arrival.

Pronunciation: //:ʃlɔnts//
Plural: Schlonzens
Note: Never to be used in direct speech when talking to the Schlonz.
Example #1:
"Dude, are you really gonna smoke at a gas station?"
*man don't care*
"Maaan, he's such a Schlonz."

Example #2:
"Dude, we've been waiting for 20 minutes for you to get ready. What the f*** have you been up to, dude?"
"Chill the f*** down, I was tryna get my cologne to match my moustache. Just because you uncivilized folk don't care about your fragrance..."
"What a Schlonz move, dude."

Example #3:
*Schlonz getting rejected by the fourth woman that night; thus obviously destroying some trashcans on the street*
"Dude, get over yourself."
"Krghaaa..." *while Schlonz destroys another trashcan on the street*
"Some day he's gotta stop being such a Schlonz!"

Example #4:
"Dude, did you see that white boi in the Golf blasting Arab music?"
"What a Schlonz..."
Schlonz by maeshlboi August 12, 2020
dirt in the chillum of a bong, which is caused by smoking
u need to clean your pipe, it's full of schlonz
schlonz by mrhappy3412 February 20, 2009

Schlong control 

The ability of a man to maintain an erection during sex and to ejaculate exactly when he decides.
A lady always appreciates a considerate lover who has excellent schlong control.

Long schlong telegong 

Long schlong telegong is a common phrase among german teachers when singing along loudly in the classroom. It can be written as Ľ0ňğ Șçhĺòńğ Țėľêğõňğ, too.
"Yeah Ľ0ňğ Șçhĺòńğ Țėľêğõňğ ❤️❤️❤️", sings my teacher. "Aiaiaiaiiai Long schlong telegong", answers my colleague.
Long schlong telegong by gollomosh September 3, 2022

schlongpire 

Similar to a vampire, however instead of feeding on blood they feed on penis. They'll become ornery with the absence of sucking penis for too long. BE CAREFUL.
"Wow, Darren is awfully moody today."
"That's because he's a schlongpire and hasn't fed in many moons, keep your distance."
schlongpire by Triwinning June 27, 2016

Schrödinger's Schlong 

If the frontal genitalia of a person is not visible during sexual activities then it is both gay and not gay at the same time
Bro is that trap porn? You gay
Nah dude, Schrödinger's Schlong
Shit homie my bad
Schrödinger's Schlong by Spumbag257 November 11, 2018