roote

A Roote is the answer to all life’s questions. They can be very stubborn but very passive. Usually love to get high and be a complete waste In life.

“Wow he is such a Roote”

roote by Lexxishere April 30, 2020

The Roto-Rooter 

An act of sexual perfection which requires 2 main ingredients in order to be successfully accomplished: A coil spring mattress and a gassy male counterpart. The man will be on the bottom, and while the woman rides with delight, he cuts a loud, gut-wrenching fart, which is then amplified by the coil spring mattress to send vibrations through his shaft so that she feels it in her bones, thereby enhancing her pleasure and overall sexual experience. It is also acceptable for both parties to laugh uncontrollably upon completion.

Jim: So Becky and I went and had Mexican for dinner last night, then we went home to screw.
Brad: Dude, sounds like all the ingredients for a Roto-Rooter! Did you give her one?
Jim: Hell yeah I did, we laughed our asses off, too. I ripped one and it shook the whole bed. She loves the Roto-Rooter.

The Roto-Rooter by Jon the American June 13, 2021

Peter Rooter 

It's who to call when you're "tired of the steady drip...drip...drip of gonorrhea".

From an early Cheech & Chong routine.

"Tired of the steady drip...drip...drip of gonorrhea? Call Peter Rooter..."

Peter Rooter by Mr70Homers June 6, 2023

Teddy Roosevelt 

First off, Teddy Roosevelt is not human. He is a quantum fourth dimensional being. His physical form is the only way our mortal minds can perceive his greatness. During the Spanish-American War, it is said Teddy Roosevelt made the Rough Riders. False. Teddy Roosevelt was the Rough Riders. He was a literal one man army. He could liquify people with his intense stares and melt their organs with a twitch of his perfect mustache. Teddy Roosevelt became a cowboy once, but this was not by choice. He just decided to take advantage of his ability to whistle and summon horses straight from the ground. Teddy Roosevelt was once shot before trying to give a speech. The only thing stopping the bullet from entering his heart was the speech in his breast pocket. He gave the speech anyways, bleeding profusely. The doctor just started operating on him during his presentation. But see, Teddy Roosevelt cannot be harmed. His body is made of pure stem cells. He merely allowed his body to be harmed to woo the crowd. All medical records of Teddy Roosevelt have been hidden away, because each time he was cut open to be operated on, they just found a smaller Teddy Roosevelt inside of him. Not a baby, but a homunculus, monocle included. It is said Teddy Roosevelt died in his sleep. His Vice President stated that should Teddy have been awake, there would have been a fight. This is partly true. Teddy would in fact have gone mano y mano with the grim reaper himself.

"Dude! Chuck Norris jokes are great!"
"Obviously you haven't heard of our lord and savior Teddy Roosevelt."

Teddy Roosevelt by SirGiggles February 15, 2017

booze rooster 

When you wake up really early after a night of drinking

I don't think I'll be able to make it tonight.... I got a rude awakening from the booze rooster this morning and am too tired.

booze rooster by ncut123 June 28, 2013

Theodore Roosevelt 

The manliest US President of all Time.
Resume: Boxer, Police Chief, Author, Hunter, got shot in the middle of a speech and then continued it for 2 more hours.

Theodore Roosevelt had his wife and child dead on the same day. :(

Theodore Roosevelt by Sgt. Nexel March 3, 2020

President Roosevelt

One of the greatest presidents in American history no matter which one you're talking about :P

Intelligent American who sees past the stupidity of partisanship: "President Roosevelt was amazing."

Blind Democrat: "You'd better mean Franklin because that stupid Theodore was a racist Republican."

Blind Republican: "You'd better mean Theodore because Franklin was a flaming Welfare loving social justice warrior."

Intelligent American who sees past the stupidity of partisanship: "No, I mean both because both were great and put country over party. Without either of them, you both would possibly have been CHILD SLAVES, slaves to large businesses, eating poisonous food, drinking unclean water, and if all of that somehow didn't manage to kill you, then you'd die well before you could use Social Security to keep yourself alive and long lived."

Blind Democrat and Republican: "CUCK!"

President Roosevelt by SomewhatOfALibertarian January 18, 2017