Mr70Homers's definitions

Smoozy

Mushy, smushy, slimy, gooey.

Damn! I had to clean up dog poop in my yard, and it was all smoozy. What's that dog eating?

by Mr70Homers April 22, 2023

Lane Jockey

A driver who weaves in and out of traffic, with frequent lane changes, in the hopes of reaching their destination 2-3 minutes faster than those behind them. They usually fail to use their turn indicators. Same type of driver who pulls the on-ramp hero maneuver.

Did you see that f*cking lane jockey? He nearly caused a wreck!

by Mr70Homers August 18, 2022

on-ramp hero

Driver who, when entering the freeway, attempts to pass every car possible via the on-ramp before merging as the on-ramp ends (despite having numerous opportunities to merge safely prior). Of course, if oneself is doing it you're an on-ramp hero. If someone else is doing it, they're simply an asshole.

Passenger in my car: "Dude! On-ramp hero. You can pass a least six more cars."

Some jerk trying to play on-ramp hero nearly caused a wreck on my way to work.

by Mr70Homers April 28, 2022

thick and pasty twenty-wiper

When you take a massive dump that makes you wipe your ass so many times you end up using half a roll of toilet paper

Friend: Damn! You were in the john forever.

Me: Dude, it turned into be a thick and pasty twenty-wiper.

by Mr70Homers October 2, 2021

smedic

When said aloud, it sounds like you're saying "suck my dick" very quickly.

Friend: "Why don't you shut up?"
Me: "Yeah? Smedic."

by Mr70Homers October 9, 2021

Porcelain phone

The toilet, specifically when one is hunched over it vomiting loudly.

I got so drunk last night that I ended calling Ralph long distance on the great white porcelain phone.

by Mr70Homers October 16, 2021

Peter Rooter

It's who to call when you're "tired of the steady drip...drip...drip of gonorrhea".

From an early Cheech & Chong routine.

"Tired of the steady drip...drip...drip of gonorrhea? Call Peter Rooter..."

by Mr70Homers June 6, 2023