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Preposterous boast, but alas 

Replacement for “weird flex but ok” because it’s overused
Random person: “I didn’t lose my virginity because I don’t take L’s.”
Me: “Preposterous boast, but alas.”

preposterous 

adjective meaning something that is absoloutely absurd and/or doesn't make sense.
The website preposterous.ca doesn't make any sense!
It's preposterous.
preposterous by lurker August 14, 2004

pogposterous 

The best idea anyone has ever had in the universe. It is simply preposterous that you would assume this idea is not poggers. Something so incredibly terrible that it is poggers.
"Just killed a woman... feeling good" - TommyInnit

"That's so pogposterous Tommy" - auto-generated Wilbur tweets

Preposterous Battle 

A battle where two or more friends compete to use the most instances of the words preposterous or preposterously.
"It is preposterously preposterous how preposterously preposterous this preposterously preposterous Preposterous Battle is, and it is preposterously preposterous when people say preposterous, preposterously, or preposterously preposterous in a preposterously long sentence.

pimposterous 

Unbelievably smooth.
His outfit is totally pimposterous!

Postposterous 

Way beyond the aftermath of anything preposterous. Looooong after preposterous has been beaten into the ground so much it turns into coal, then diamonds. The source should have just given up ages ago, they're just old.
That Leisure Suit is postposterous.
Postposterous by SQLbait December 18, 2010