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Armchair Policeman
Noun.
What a person becomes when, upon receiving word of a police incident from the internet, the news, or word of mouth, one gives advice on how the police should have "properly" handled the situation in line with police protocol, the law, etc.
Usually, this occurs when the police have been accused of wrongdoing or, even more commonly, when the police have been accused of no wrongdoing yet the receiving party believes they are almost entirely at fault.
Common occurrences include drug busts, traffic stops, and police shootings.
What a person becomes when, upon receiving word of a police incident from the internet, the news, or word of mouth, one gives advice on how the police should have "properly" handled the situation in line with police protocol, the law, etc.
Usually, this occurs when the police have been accused of wrongdoing or, even more commonly, when the police have been accused of no wrongdoing yet the receiving party believes they are almost entirely at fault.
Common occurrences include drug busts, traffic stops, and police shootings.
Theodore: I can't believe the police shot him, he only had a knife on him. Since when do you need to shoot someone with a knife? They should have used their taser or pepper spray, it's not even legal to use deadly force in a situation like that.
Bill: Man, Ted, you are being quite the armchair policeman right now.
Theodore: It's Theodore.
Bill: Whatever, dude.
Bill: Man, Ted, you are being quite the armchair policeman right now.
Theodore: It's Theodore.
Bill: Whatever, dude.
Armchair Policeman by unfromcool April 16, 2014
Related Words
sleeping policeman
"Dude, the bottom part of my bumper came off because I didn't see the sleeping policeman on the road!"
sleeping policeman by WOng7713 January 21, 2008
Angry Policeman
When you are having sex with a female and right before you jizz in her face you yell "FREEZE" then shoot anyways.
Angry Policeman by Shaneomac87 July 7, 2011
Plastic Policeman
Guy1: WTF why did you run from the feds?
Guy2: It's okay he was a plastic policeman, he can't touch me!
Guy1: Oh wow, your so awesome!
Guy2: It's okay he was a plastic policeman, he can't touch me!
Guy1: Oh wow, your so awesome!
Plastic Policeman by hubGX January 13, 2009
Emerson Policeman
noun.
1. A member of the law enforcement community that is overweight, lacks fitness, and eats doughnuts. 2. A man who is preoccupied with himself and often vain about his appearance; a dandy or Mazzeo. 3. A lazy or shiftless person, especially one who seeks to live excessively by the support of Emerson taxpayers. 4. An incompetent, insignificant, or obnoxious person. 5. A person lacking in activity; not busy: a slacker, lacking in diligence or due care or concern. 6. To exploit, swindle, or cheat the taxpayer, using a false advertising campaign, to rip off consumers.
Synonyms: Blue Asshole, Fuzz, Scumbag, Stupid Sandwich Makers, Flatfoot, Cop, Prick, Slacker, Loser, Bum, a small oily fish
Middle English slak, from Old Norse slakki.
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
1. A member of the law enforcement community that is overweight, lacks fitness, and eats doughnuts. 2. A man who is preoccupied with himself and often vain about his appearance; a dandy or Mazzeo. 3. A lazy or shiftless person, especially one who seeks to live excessively by the support of Emerson taxpayers. 4. An incompetent, insignificant, or obnoxious person. 5. A person lacking in activity; not busy: a slacker, lacking in diligence or due care or concern. 6. To exploit, swindle, or cheat the taxpayer, using a false advertising campaign, to rip off consumers.
Synonyms: Blue Asshole, Fuzz, Scumbag, Stupid Sandwich Makers, Flatfoot, Cop, Prick, Slacker, Loser, Bum, a small oily fish
Middle English slak, from Old Norse slakki.
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Person 1 Says: "I was stopped by an asshole that smelled like a small oily fish. He was overweight and overpaid."
Person 2 replies: "It must have been an Emerson Policeman!"
Person 2 replies: "It must have been an Emerson Policeman!"
Emerson Policeman by Nat Webster April 22, 2006
My Policeman
A queer 50s love story staring the perfect Harry Styles. We have seen a few behind the scenes photos come out and let me tell you now, Harry looks fine af.
My Policeman by kevin louis' pigion May 11, 2021
More from Urban Dictionary
WhimZ
Frothability
The measure of an emotional and over zealous consumer in an upwardly charging market, also known as a bull market. It's characterized by rising asset prices, increased investor confidence, and favorable growth in the markets, bro.
The frothability was evident as over-zealous consumers eagerly engaged in bidding wars, driving property prices to unsustainable levels reminiscent of previous speculative bubbles.
Frothability by cptn.kagaroo1 January 26, 2024
Word of the Day on November 12, 2026
Soul digger
A man who dates women with the sole purpose of exploiting their time, energy, and labor while he sucks the joy and happiness from their lives.
"That guy's a soul digger. He'll expect you to work full time, but you'll be doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and childcare while he plays video games or watches TV."
Soul digger by anonymous November 11, 2026
Word of the Day on November 11, 2026
pod person
A person pretending to be something they aren't, or an impostor. This is inferred because of the old alien movies where alien pods appear on earth and the "pod people" dispose of the humans and slowly reproduce the bodies, pretending to be humans.
The pod person was pretending to be my father, but I knew that he was an alien when he acted differently than my father ever would have.
pod person by Christopher M. May 9, 2005
Word of the Day on November 10, 2026
dead drop
A dead drop is a location used to secretly pass items between two people, without requiring them to meet.
Spies have been known to use dead drops, using various techniques to hide the items and to signal that the drop has been made. Drug dealers use this as well.
A common place is to duct tape the item to the underside of a toilet cover in a public restroom.
A signal is sometimes used as well to indicate there is something to pickup, like a pile of stones in a certain formation. After checking the drop the signal is removed.
Spies have been known to use dead drops, using various techniques to hide the items and to signal that the drop has been made. Drug dealers use this as well.
A common place is to duct tape the item to the underside of a toilet cover in a public restroom.
A signal is sometimes used as well to indicate there is something to pickup, like a pile of stones in a certain formation. After checking the drop the signal is removed.
"The dead drop is the restroom toilet at the Gulf station at the corner of Commercial Ave. and Georges Rd."
dead drop by rubberroom July 23, 2008
Word of the Day on November 9, 2026
No Surprises Wedding
A "No Surprises Wedding," or NSW, is a wedding invitation designation that tells attendees that there can be no unplanned announcements, engagements, events or speeches at the wedding - all actions must be pre-approved by the couple. Anyone who performs an unapproved "surprise" will be asked to leave the wedding early.
This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.
This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.
You are cordially invited to the nuptials of Brian and Tom on October 31 at noon.
Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.
Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.
No Surprises Wedding by dbdefenestrate August 27, 2023
Word of the Day on November 8, 2026