NaNoWriMo, an acronym for National Novel Writing Month, is an especially sad disease, causing its victims to suddenly believe they can write a 50,000
word novel in a month. It is a
particularly horrible form of social suicide, which, once having taken hold, cannot be avoided.
Curiously enough, most victims show few signs of this disease until November, whereupon a sudden impulse to plan out the major plot points in their novel steals the full attention of the victim, alongside excessive stockpiling of
caffeinated drinks (Read: Coffee). Otherwise, nothing too
concerning will occur besides loudly proclaimed issues with the naming of ‘MC’s.
By the third week, however, typing will have become more frantic, as the victim realises that they are rather behind on their irrational goals. Oftentimes, victims will become irritable; beware touching any of their belongings during this time (Especially the coffee) or
disturbing them
in the middle of a critical plot point.
By the fourth week, the victim will very rarely emerge to face real life. Approach cautiously, and attempt to calmly and quietly introduce the victim to food, water and rest. They will often suffer symptoms of withdrawal, but the worst is now over.
Sometimes, following November, there will be continuing symptoms. This is known as National Novel Editing Month, or NaNoEdMo. Continue to care for the patient as much as possible during this time. It cannot be helped.
"Say, I haven't seen Julie for weeks. Do
you know what happened to her?"
"You didn't hear? She's got Nanowrimo!"
"What? No! That's horrible! Will she be okay?"
"We *sob* don't know. She keeps asking stupid
questions that we can't
understand - what do dragons have to do with real life!"
"There's no cure?"
"The doctor said no. We just have to wait, and hope. That novel she's writing had better be good!"
