Jerck 

Noun: a person whose name sounds the same as jerk, and at rare moments times, he can be one as well.

"Have you met Jerck?"
"Yeah, I heard he's a jerk."
"No, that's just his name."

Jerck by StophS October 4, 2008

Suicide Jerk 

When masturbating, right before blowing your load, yell "MOM!" or "DAD!" and try to finish before said person enters the room.

Oh man, i cant go out tonight i got grounded when i failed the suicide jerk.

Suicide Jerk by FudgePackerTodd October 17, 2010

the old pump and jerk 

1. An old fashioned reach around.

2. Getting screwed over.

1. Gay porn is built on the old pump and jerk.

2. Ignacio said he had my money but all I got was the old pump and jerk.

the old pump and jerk by themaskednwker September 14, 2013

Don't Jerk Off On My Breakfast

when someone is ruining something and telling you that what you are doing is wrong, not to help you out, but for no apparent reason. As a response you tell them to not jerk off on your breakfast.

I was having a great morning, but then Benji had to ruin my morning by telling me that the Giants were 1-7 so I told him "Please Benji, from now on, Don't Jerk Off On My Breakfast"

Don't Jerk Off On My Breakfast by weiny0402 November 7, 2018

Spicy Jerk 

The sadness induced masturbation caused by Law Enforcement's refusal to come to your aide after you report that your Lasagna is haunted by ghosts

The police told me: STOP CALLING! But I told them... I told th-Snort, my lasagnia eaten bai ghost! crying, I get sad, and do a Spicy Jerk! - Vargskelethor: Super Ghostbusters (Full Album), Track 5: Ghastbisten

Spicy Jerk by Egg-Z December 15, 2018

jerk sesh 

slang for jerk-off session: the event; past, present, or future; where a male has allotted himself several minutes to several hours for nothing other than private, uninterrupted masturbation. A jerk sesh is typically accompanied by one or several forms of visually stimulating material i.e. internet pornography, magazines, movies, etc.

"Goodnight fellas. I'm gonna get in a quick jerk sesh then its off to bed..."

jerk sesh by Ladies got the ERJ December 26, 2011

Hate Jerk 

Feeling a sense of extreme hatred and resentment for someone but still helplessly jerking off to them on a consistent basis.

Thanks to Jessica, Brandon was going broke but he still couldn't help himself from hate jerking to her photos every night. He hated her so much, but GOD she turned him on.

Hate Jerk by DivineGoddessJessica May 9, 2019