happsturbation

(n.) the act of masturbating not because you're sexually aroused, but because you're just so happy you have to touch yourself.

Jamie: what are your plans this afternoon?

Carla: you know, I'm having such a good day I think I'll participate in some happsturbation!

happsturbation by Happy Slappin May 2, 2014

hipsturbation 

The act of trying to be hip and failing miserably, as in "a poor substitute for the real thing".

My dad is really good at hipsturbation when he talks like he is in the 70s.

hipsturbation by Swiss CheeseLife February 24, 2008

Hangsturbation 

The excitation of one's own genital organs while simultaneously asphyxiating oneself usually to the point of orgasm.

Late at night, Officer Billy loves hangsturbating in his cop vehicle while checking for drivers going over the speed limit.

Hangsturbation by Dr. Dorifto August 31, 2005

Rappsturbation 

The process of masturbating to thoughts, images, or sounds of Broadway and Film star Anthony Rapp.

She's become a bit of a recluse, because she has such a problem with public Rappsturbation

Rappsturbation by AdamPizzy September 16, 2008

Hartsturbation

The act of bewildering or purposefully manipulating the Hart to the point of extreme frustration and, eventually, physical lashing out for ones personal satisfaction.

Bro 1: Hey Hart, you should hook up with ...!!

Hart: blah, you're totally right!
Bro 2: damn, Bro 1 that was some fun hartsturbation...

Hartsturbation by jesuschristo111 April 25, 2010