hipsturbation 

The act of trying to be hip and failing miserably, as in "a poor substitute for the real thing".

My dad is really good at hipsturbation when he talks like he is in the 70s.

hipsturbation by Swiss CheeseLife February 24, 2008

Hipsterbation

When one masturbates with their left hand because everyone else masturbates with their right.

"Everyone shakes with their right hand, so you can't let your right be soft! That's why I masturbate with my left hand."

"Wait, so you masturbate with your left hand because no one else does?"

"Yeah"

"Hipsterbation, bro. Stoppit."

Hipsterbation by FreeKayTeeKay March 8, 2012

happsturbation

(n.) the act of masturbating not because you're sexually aroused, but because you're just so happy you have to touch yourself.

Jamie: what are your plans this afternoon?

Carla: you know, I'm having such a good day I think I'll participate in some happsturbation!

happsturbation by Happy Slappin May 2, 2014

hipsternation 

Noun: a state of confusion and dismay that occurs when a hipster realizes what they are.

A hipster on the road to recovery will typically stop at hipsternation.

Hipsternation can lead to a reaffirmation of hipsteric tendencies combined with mainstream culture to create a hybrid hipster (i.e. hipster-hopper, hipster-gangsta, etc.)

hipsternation by SaltySand October 26, 2010

Hipsterbation

The act of touching oneself whilst being stimulated by pictures of oversized glasses and ironic tee shirts.

Hipsterbation:
George: Hey, man, where's Theo?
John: Hang on, let me call him.
-phone call-
John: Hey, Theo, where you at?
Theo: -through heavy breathing- Browsing Urban Outfitters online.
-hang up-
George: So what's he doing?
John: Hipsterbating.

Hipsterbation by KleptoInsomniac July 7, 2014