ensures 

Things that you have acquired to stop certain things from happening. E.g. insurance prevents bankruptcy. Used by Western Australian yuppies.

"Right, so we're going skydiving. Got all the ensures you need?"

ensures by Alex Quantashassle April 21, 2005

nocturnal enuresis 

A urological complaint: involuntary urination after the age at which bladder control usually occurs or by immature bullies when excited or provoked.

Dr: "Sorry, but your son has nocturnal enuresis."

Mrs MarillionFan: "Is it serious?"

Dr: "Oh no, madam. It is very, very funny.

nocturnal enuresis by MarillionFan's mum March 27, 2011

Hilarity Ensues 

From the days of newspaper TV Guides that would write two sentence synopses (loglines) of a television show. Sometimes these summaries wouldn't sound comedic on the surface, so "hilarity ensues" was used to ensure the audience understood it was a premise for a comedy.

Tonight on Seinfeld, George decides the best time to have a snack is during sex. Hilarity ensues.

Hilarity Ensues by flobo November 13, 2010

Ensure 

To make sure. Not to be confused with insure.

He ensured that I wouldn't get any leftovers by getting home before me and eating all of them.

Ensure by Diggity Monkeez January 14, 2005

ensure 

a drink used to gain or maintain a healthy weight.

I drank ensure after recovering from anerexia nervosa

ensure by Sofie S June 4, 2005

enuresis 

Involuntary passing of urine, usually whilst asleep, resulting in bedwetting.

I had an episode of enuresis last night, now my bed is wet

enuresis by Lipstick lez January 23, 2018

hilarity ensues 

An ending that can be put onto the ends of stories and plans. A convenient phrase to use when your story or plan sounded really dumb. It usually doesn't make much sense.

Me: Ok here's what's gonna happen: I'll go steal her key's and she will spend the whole night trying to find them!
Other People: (stare)
Me: Hilarity ensues.

hilarity ensues by Jake Seifert March 25, 2006