Disasterbated

The act of masterbating after an unsuccessful night of trying to bring someone home from the bars.

Matt: Did you bring someone home last night?
Jake: No, there wasn't anyone drunk enough to come back with me.
Matt: That sucks dude
Jake: It's okay because I disasterbated when I got home.

by Baldginger December 12, 2012

disasterbating

Imagining that the worst possible things are going to happen regarding the future, over and over, until you totally freak yourself out.

Deena has been disasterbating about her big trip next week to Chicago. Now she's too scared to pack!

by LaMaupin March 18, 2014

Disasturbate

When your life is so shitty, all you can do is masturbate in sorrow and self-pity.

"What happened to Luke the other day?"

"I don't know man, but it must be pretty horrible - he just went to the other room to disasturbate."

by kOrEAn Bbq May 9, 2013

Disasturbate

Masturbating during a natural or otherwise any disaster.

The tornado is coming, I better disasturbate so I can too.

by Jawsh00 July 3, 2015

Disasterbate

v. The act of maserbating and someone interrupts the act, just at the point of climax but before the actual ejaculation, so you have no option but to just put your junk back in you pants and cum all over the the inside of your shorts.

Me: My mom walked in just as I was ejaculating. I had NO time to cum on anything so I just shoved everything back in my pants and came all over myself. what a disaster.

Friend: Dude, you disasterbated!! Hilarious!

by Dr. K. Moon November 19, 2010

disasterbation

An irrational exhilaration and enjoyment while experiencing the effects of a natural disaster or other destructive scenario.

All these rich white folk driving around the 9th Ward in luxury coaches to go see Brad Pitt pretending to help New Orleans, it's just Yankee disasterbation.

by Cidney January 13, 2008

Disasterbate

In the face of pending doom, man shuns only the quickest and most rewarding of activities. Disasterbation describes the carnal quest for the much-coveted preapocalyptic climax.

The second most satisfying of self-pleasuring activities, Disasterbation bows only to Faux Invigordisastpublation--publicly masturbating, with vigor, in anticipation of a miscalculated armageddon.

(see also: Dicksimation, Blastpocalypse, Cum Bucket List, Anal-Eye-alation, Catajysm, Catastrofeces, and Holocaustitution)

INTELLECTUAL 1: "My goodness, Intellectual 2, I dare say that, despite having immaculately worded definitions, the examples UrbanDictionary endorses often seem contrived in nature, unnecessarily abrupt, and leave one with a dearth of expounding information via general scenario, anecdote, or lexicon."

INTELLECTUAL 2: "Hear Hear, Intellectual 1! I ... OH! Gracious, is that an earthquake!?!? ... DISASTERBATE!"

by barfcake November 15, 2011