detec 

an undercover police car, a crown vic with a normal paint job that a detective drives

oh shit, there goes a detec!

detec by alex campione November 25, 2007

Private detective 

Junior grimes, or atleast what people refer to you as if you take illegal measures and unconventional means to accomplish a task such as cracking a case on infidelity or murder, it’s a reference the well known private detective known as “gumshoe grimes” what the papers call junior grimes as he stuck to people when working cases.

someone who follows others and gather information on order to solve a case or situation which demands the investigators (junior) help is what a PI pretty much is...

Junior grimes however, takes this a STEP FURTHER though even that’s a major understatement. young and full of anger, he’s not exactly the calmest of detectives and uses what ever means necessary to solve the task even if it means sacrificing his own chance at a happy life and those around him for there’s no rest for grimes as the world needs him when any case goes unsolved.

Junior grimes aka “June wick” or “darnell grimes”

Private investigator give itself a good name when junior grimes matches with it.

Figure out what that means

“there’s no one that solves crimes like grimes”

___

Woman 1: omg my sisters missing

Woman 2: wait I know who to call

Woman 1: you do?

Junior grimes: what seems to be the problem?

Woman 1: it’s my sister!

Junior grimes: not to worry, for no one better to call then mr grimes!

Woman 2: see? I told you, he’s the best

Woman 1: wow

___

Junior grimes is the greatest private detective OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

Private detective by Assassin technical institute September 6, 2021

Detective Mark Hoffman

A key character in the Saw franchise whom Jigsaw, aka John Kramer, appoints to carry on his work of "testing" people to see if they are worthy of life. He is brilliantly played by Costas Mandylor, whom many consider a rather underrated actor. Hoffman has a very cold personality, yet most don't see this when he portrays himself as a hard-working police officer, but behind that mask lies a killer hell bent on vengeance and filled with anger over the loss of his sister. Appears in Saw IV - VII.

Detective Mark Hoffman at the end of Saw V. His brutality is shown as he smiles while watching an FBI agent die one of the most gruesome deaths of all the Saw movies.

Detective Mark Hoffman by Josh Brovin December 12, 2012

Faux Defecation 

When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.

(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation

Faux Defecation by gingyman January 9, 2010

Detective "Four Hoes" 

the guy who points out the obvious that everybody seems to miss at the moment. you can summon him by laying down a pack of cigarretes and a freshly polished Monster Energy Drink. leave the rest to him.

Guy1: Dude, where the fuck is Andrew? I can't seem to find him.
Detective "Four Hoes" : He shoots heroin in the kitchen. *Points to the kitchen door*

Detective "Four Hoes" by dumicarpacius October 11, 2021

ludicrous tomfoolery or delectable sweets? 

This is what British mfs named "Sir Bumble Nockntooten IV" expect you to say on Halloween rather than, "Trick or treat?"

The story of Sir Bumble Nockentooten IV's expectation for children to say "ludicrous tomfoolery or delectable sweets?"

Me: *Knocks on Sir Bumble Nockentooten IV's door*
Sir Bumble Nockentooten IV: *Opens door*
Me: "Trick or treat?!"
Sir Bumble Nockentooten IV: *Closes door in anger and pure frustration and starts to cry*

ludicrous tomfoolery or delectable sweets? by Minecraft Muffin November 3, 2020

goth detectives 

The mystery adventures of goths Bob Skeleton and Macabre de Coiffure (As played by Noel Fielding and Russell Brand). When the theme tune starts they run out of their coffins... weeelll not run, more like saunter. Goths don't run.

"The goth detectives can get the job done in 48 hours!"
"We could get it done quicker, if we weren't so bloody miserable!"

goth detectives by Naboo That's Who June 12, 2008