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Teaching Crabs How To Read 

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!
Related Words

Crabs in the bucket 

People who are stuck in bad situations. Who drag you down with them

Comes from what happens when u place crabs in a bucket. One trys to escape the others grab their legs and try to escape so it ends up they all never get out.
Them people they just crabs in the bucket. U gotta get away from them
She looked so tan. But when she had her arms up, she had some serious cabes!
cabes by The Runs November 20, 2016

veal crates 

Several tiny cubicles crammed into one office as desks for graduate students. Like calves being fattened for slaughter, graduate students confined to veal crates can experience chronic stress so extreme as to require medication. Veal-crated students frequently drop our of graduate school after paying tuition for several years, thus helping to ensure that the university's coffers are filled while gaining nothing from the graduate experience but horrible memories and a few useless ideas.
Graduate Student: THIS is my office!!!?? I can't believe it; I'm a PhD student and this is supposed to be a great university. These cubicles are only four feet wide. I'll go insane.

Second Graduate Student: Welcome to the veal crates.
veal crates by ring-tailed roarer January 28, 2010
a person who jerks off under covers and chooses not to jerkoff with just his hand in his pantz
Jeb: thanks for takin all the covers Tito, well at leats i wont be a craber
Tito: huh?
craber by Craber101 March 18, 2005

Crabslap 

The act of slapping a sexual partner in the face with crab meat in a sexual manner.
After my anal discharge Hunter crabslaps me in the face.
Crabslap by Rageyy December 27, 2010