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the crookedest street in the World 

Lombard St. in San Francisco, California, USA. It's a 1~way downhill steep street with many switchbacks, is lined by several homes, the speed limit is 5 MPH & it goes from Van Ness to Leavenworth. The views are outstanding!
You won't believe this but I accidentally drove down the crookedest street in the World & didn't find out it was that street until a month later! I swore I'd never drive it again but a week later I did. The views are phenomenal.

Crooked Serbian 

When you're fingering a girl and break your finger inside of her.
"Hey Dusan, what happened with you and the girl last night? Why is she complaining about her ruptured vagina?"

"Man, I gave her a Crooked Serbian. I have to see a radiologist today."
Crooked Serbian by Tricycle January 23, 2013

Hit a straight lick with a crooked stick 

Overcoming incredible difficulties and doing remarkable things.
Ex: When a kid grows up in a bad situation without any guidance, but somehow rises above it and has a successful life; that kid hit a straight lick with a crooked stick.

Cooked your own spleen 

"A well known expression for a newspaper closing" - David Mitchell

To put yourself into a unfortunate/self-damaging situation where the blame cannot be successfully shifted onto someone else i.e. Shooting yourself in the foot
Phil: Did you get to shag that slag from oceana?
James: Nah fam, got too wasted and passed out
Phil: You've cooked your own spleen, there!
James: I know, bruv

Mike G: Did you break up with Lydia?
Marcel: Nope. Told her I loved her by accident.
Mike G: CYOS.

Reginald Poshington: Hello there old chap! How goes it?
Rogers Chestertonmastercard IV: Not so well, I'm afraid old sport. I just heard back from the Regatta Club and it seems my work to further the segregation amongst the races within my rugby club, albeit a step back into the ways of the splendour of Uncle Adolf, served as a conflict of interests and hence they have heaved me from the running to become a partner. Daddy won't be pleased at all.
Reginald: Well then, old spice! You've cooked your own spleen, haven't you?
Rogers: In deed! This is TRULY a recipe for disaster

News of the world's last headline: "We've Cooked Our Own Spleen"

Cooked cunt 

Someone that is fried on drugs, usually meth or weed. Often looks and acts mentally disabled.
"Fuck off ya cooked cunt, ya nearly broke the bong"

Often used in a friendly way amongst Australians. "How ya been ya cooked cunt?"

crooked as a Florida election 

Inspired by the incompetence and blatant corruption, often both at the same time, seen in Florida elections since the year 2000.
Our city council is as crooked as a Florida election.