coast gaurd 

Basically cops on water. Paid very little and do very little. Honestly just join the navy if you like the water.

Coast gaurd hasn't done anything for us in years let's join the navy and make a difference.

coast gaurd by SassyJackieMate December 20, 2016

alert the coastguard 

Exclamation given before passing a gigantic turd

"Quick, Maureen," cried Joe, "Alert the coastguard - Ian's disappeared into the gents again"

alert the coastguard by Jules the King November 15, 2006

Vagina Coastguard 

A phrase from "Family Guy" when peter meets the US Senate to allow smoking for minors. He is greeted by Al Gore and Dick Army, where he cracks a joke "Is your wife's name, Vagina Coastguard?? hahha"

Sincerely,
Vagina Coastguard

Vagina Coastguard by plastiqmanb June 20, 2006

Coastguarding

The act of finding and enlarging the clitoris for heightened sexual pleasure.
Usually done using a flexible straw, the clitoris is located and by sucking on the straw the clitoris becomes enlarged increasing and intensifying the orgasm for a woman.

The term " Coastguarding " comes from the "search and rescue " of the clitoris.

My bitch got me coastguarding last night before I nailed her.

Coastguarding by phil279 September 26, 2011

Vagina Coastguard 

Fucking when that bitches mom keeps checking hin on you in her daughters room, with flashlight. You better not get caught in moms waters.

Dude, her mom is such a vagina coastguard. I got busted doing the alaskan fire dragon.

Vagina Coastguard by Brian Giardina March 5, 2005

Coastguarding

When your lady refuses to shower after pull-out sex and your stray semen line her lovely shores the next day.

Alfy: dude that chick is smoking hot!

Ralphy: I wouldn’t go there. Billy hit that last night and said she’s coastguarding today.

Alfy: freal? I ain’t picky!

Coastguarding by Paradiseboyz November 1, 2021

Mormon coastguarding 

(v) The act of rejecting a man who is trying to engage in Mormon docking with you.

I was trying to Mormon dock my Mormon girlfriend last night, but she kept Mormon coastguarding me. No port of call for me!

Mormon coastguarding by Brigham Young's barrel chest January 1, 2012