An event which
will provoke the release of all known human bodily fluids, though not every person in attendance
will release all of the fluids. Among the fluids to be released:
* Tears: The mother of the bride
will cry at how nice her daughter looks and how beautiful the event is;
* Nasal discharge: Someone is bound to sneeze during the service;
* Sweat: The groom
will be sweating, as he’ll be wondering if he’
s making the right choice and ponders how his life may change;
* Saliva: “You may now kiss the bride …”
* Urine: At one point, all guests are going to have to take a leak;
* Vomit/stomach acid: Someone’s bound to have a few too many at the reception and spend much of the
time driving the porcelain bus;
* Semen/vaginal fluids: The couple
will get their freak on for the first time as husband and wife, if not the first time ever;
* Milk: If the bride gets pregnant, her ta-tas
will produce milk when the baby is born;
* Blood: The divorce a few years down the road
will result in either physical or figurative bloodshed