Bureaucratic Masturbation

noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.

My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!

by Bill Koogler January 17, 2008

bureaucratic bullshit

The state of which that procedure becomes more of a hindrance to a cause than the original cause.

Johnny would have won but, because he didn't pay attention to the bureaucratic bullshit and follow the 97 step process, Sarah won instead.

by ocean123456 April 17, 2016

bureaucratic parasite

A bureaucrat that wastes money and drains resources from society. They are quite common in countries all over the world.

When a bureaucrat was giving a speech about how much work the government was getting done, I yelled, "Get off the stage you bureaucratic parasite!" They always lie and act like the government is working efficiently.

by BureaucraticParasite February 20, 2017

bureaucratic void

shredder catcher

Bill: How are you going to get rid of the evidence?

Stanislaw: Right over here. The bureaucratic void.

by mcdede August 11, 2008

Bureaucratic Promise

Quoting someone a large time range for something to occur, even though it will probably happen much sooner.

I always have to tell my customers that they'll get an e-mail within 24-48 hours, even though they get it immediately.

Ah, a good ol' bureaucratic promise. You just know that one person didn't get that e-mail within 30 seconds and they were pissed; so now, you have to tell everyone they'll get it within 24-48 hours.

by JerMead July 24, 2018

Bureaucratic euthanasia

To be euthanized, or commit euthanasia via the use of bureaucratic mechanisms. Stalling lifesaving measures to the point of death using bureaucracy.

My mother’s healthcare system killed her using bureaucratic euthanasia by having her get shuffled around so many different specialists and tests that she eventually drop dead before getting any real treatment.

by Johnplarany July 25, 2022

bureaucratic feltcher

a bureaucratic person who sucks or licks semen from the anus of another bureaucratic person.

That person is a bureaucratic feltcher

by anonymous July 11, 2023