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My black heart bleeds for you 

A phrase meaning to have a strong hatred towards someone or something.
"Yay I won 100 dollars!" Said Eric.

"My black heart bleeds for you." Says Agatha.

Bears, Beets, Battlestar 

A Phrase Coined By Jim Halpert of The Office in order to imitate fellow Salesman Dwight Schrute
Jim: *Dressed as Dwight* "Question, What Kind of Bear Is Best?"
Dwight: "Thats A Ridiculous Question."
Jim: "False, Black Bear!"
Dwight: "Well thats Debaitable, There are Basically two Schools of Thought."
Jim: "Fact, Bears eat beets."
Dwight: *Sighs* "Nope"
Jim: "Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica."
Dwight: "Bears do not... What is going on? What are you doing?"
Dwight: "You know what, Imitation is thr most Sincere form of flattery so I Thank you."
Jim: *Pulls Out Bobblehead"
Dwight: "IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM! MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR!"
Jim: "MICHAEL!"
Dwight: "Oh that's Funny, MICHAEL!"

if it bleeds it leads

basically means that the media loves violence. television, radio, and film will for the most part have much higher ratings if it's about a bunch of people getting murdered rather than something nice, like somebody saving a cat from a tree. ultimately, it's a statement about america's fascination with violence.
Johnny: you watch the news today? it was awesome, 500 people got their heads chopped off!

Tommy: hey, if it bleeds it leads.
Ling Ling: "Please to show me blests?"
blests by jckny July 3, 2008

the beets 

that band from the Doug show, remember? They did "I need more allowance" and "Killer Tofu"
the beets by Lando July 12, 2003

If it bleeds, we can kill it 

Much like Get to da choppa! this is a much quoted line by the character Dutch in the action film Predator.
played by-Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Must be said barely audibly, due to an over sized cigar or sum such stand in prop and a thick Austrian accent.

Can be used in any number of social situations often regarding an overly optimistic and highly unlikely outcome.
Mac: Dude, that babe is way too hot for you.

(puts rolled up beer mat between teeth and assumes Austrian accent)

Dutch: If it bleeds, we can kill it.