and've 

1) Contraction of "and would have".

2) Contraction of "and have".

1) If they hadn't stopped that criminal he'd'a hurt my ma and've tried to hurt my sis!!

2) I have done the dishes and've taken out the trash.

and've by IAmPseudonyMeRoar!!! December 8, 2018

I’m a Cajun and I’ve never seen the world so insane before 

I have no idea where these people are coming from. All these weird new people need to go back to where they came from.

I’m a Cajun and I’ve never seen the world so insane before.

i.e. WTH you’re Lebanese, what are you doing in Louisiana in the first place.

I’m a Cajun and I’ve never seen the world so insane before by confused cajun man January 13, 2021

I’ve fallen and I can’t get it up! 

The more current, commonplace version of the old saying now that folks don’t necessarily need to be able to ambulate well in order to fuck.

I don’t know what happened, I took my Vitamin V and now I’ve fallen and I can’t get it up!

I’ve fallen and I can’t get it up! by Dr Bunnygirl October 24, 2019

I’ve farted and I can’t get up! 

When a person is so old and so powerfully flatulent that it knocks them on their ass and they can’t get up.

This is a most pathetic scenario, I’ve farted and I can’t get up!

I’ve farted and I can’t get up! by Dr Bunnygirl April 30, 2020

I've fallen and I can't get up 

A really annoying catchphrase from the late 80's/early 90's that originated from a commercial for a paramedical emergency radio for the elderly. During the commercial, and old lady falls off her walker and in the most pathetic tone of voice possible, utters this phrase into the advertised device.

Before everyone and their mom was screaming "I'm Rick James, bitch" they were screaming "I've fallen and I can't get up" in a sad attempt to be funny and witty.

I've fallen and I can't get up by Dassh September 8, 2004

now you've gone and spanked the monkey 

Gone too far, cross over the line, exceed moral norms.

After deliberately eating the last Ho Ho when Bill's roomate, Chuck, expressly forbade him to, Chuck responded, " Now you've gone and spanked the monkey".

now you've gone and spanked the monkey by Guiseppemoondog123 December 10, 2009

I've fallen and cant get up 

A girl takes a penis from behind while on the ground while giving hand jobs to men on the left and right, while blowing the man in the middle, thrusting her in a downward motion making her look like she cant get up.

I've fallen and cant get up due to all these penises.

I've fallen and cant get up by Diebler84 April 8, 2009