Skrtel

To Skrtel is to stretch one's scrotum over another's mouth and nose to the point of suffocation.

After my hard day at the office, I decided to Skrtel my boss.

by Yan Philips January 30, 2009

Martin Skrtel

Noun.
Martin Skrtel is a Slovakian football player who currently plays for Liverpool Football Club. He's a fucking hard bastard; he lives off a diet of nails, human flesh, barbed wire and steel wool. It is rumoured that Martin once killed a shark 800ft below sea level all because it was "using his water". Martin Skrtel places 7th in the "worlds hardest blokes" list after Chuck Norris, The incredible hulk, Liam Neeson, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce lee and God himself. It is said that the only way of Martin Skrtel getting injured is by self inflicted pain, however Skrtel does not feel pain. Also another rumour stipulates that Martin Skrtel has already booked a place in Heaven, apparently he did so by shouting to god from his cave in the upper Hebrides mountains. There is strong competition as to the best football player in the world between Martin Skrtel and Emile Heskey, however Heskey is widely regarded as the best football player to ever grace the planet.

Clive Tyldesley: "Absolutely nobody can get past Martin Skrtel. He's a fucking brick wall! (I appologise)"

by SammyBlanny January 2, 2012

Salty Skrelp

Salty Skrelp is cum that smells or tastes like the Ocean.

Guy 1: A shit man my girlfriend says shes not going down on me anymore.
Guy 2: Why's that?
Guy 1: I've got salty skrelp from all the seafood.

by ProfessorOaksCloset December 7, 2022

Skrelnick

Word used by the character Olaf (Silent Bob's Russian cousin) in Clerks, supposed to be Russian, but really just a made-up word by Kevin Smith who was trying to think of a word that sounded Russian. Also spelled "skrelnik" at times.

Jay: Olaf, girl nice?
Olaf (looks Jay's Lady Friend over): Skrelnick!
Jay: That's fucked up, man.
Jay's Lady Friend: What did he say?
Jay: I don't know, man, but this guy's a character.

by S. Mosier July 6, 2008

Skiteles

Pronounced skite-alls. A popular game/past-time originating at Cavendish Castle, London. Bottles of beer are consumed which, once empty, form the "skiteles". One skitle per competitor is lined up at the start of the game. Skitles must be two inches apart. A tennis ball is then tossed at the skiteles from approximately 5 metres range. One bounce only is permitted prior to the "skite drop" (the moment the ball hits ths skiteles). If no skitles are knocked down a full bottle of beer is downed by the player with the toss(known as a "skitleleman") and that empty bottle is added to the game. For every skitele that is knocked down, one digit of beer is assigned to the other competing skitlemen. The winner is the last skitleman standing. If a skitleman is sick he is out of the game.

Colin: "Anyone for a game of skiteles?"
Robbie: "Aye, I'll play."

by Captain Skite April 4, 2009

Sketel Boom

A Jamaican or Trinidad term meaning very promiscuous girl.

Kay is a sketel boom dre, dat ting is dirty.

by Inky Love September 28, 2006

skrted

Past tense of skrt

I skrted 20 yards in my car into a homeless family.

by Vinceypoo 2 point o January 5, 2019