Schrögender
A modern, scientifically proven and quantum-mechanically valid interpretation for unpredictable, all-encompassing, non-problematic gender fluidity, cleverly referring to the famous cat thought-experiment by Erwin Schrödinger. Although quantum mechanics is fundamental to the understanding of everything and all, this interpretation has been suppressed by years of oppressive patriarchy. This lead in turn to the most absolutely contrary and wrong interpretation of gender: a binary, rather than infinite, construct that only today's advanced science can hope to bust.
Iain: Hey so, what's your gender? I'm a bit at a loss here and I don't want to trigger anyone...
Me: Oh it's quite simple, really: I identify as a Schrögender. That is, my gender is a quantum superposition of "gender-states" , until said superposition is measured. The wave-function then collapses and a specific gender in a specific point in time can be evaluated.
Iain: So...you don't know your gender until someone asks you?
Me: No, you ignoramus, I am ALL genders and NO genders ALL AT THE SAME TIME until someone asks. Sheesh, get a degree.
Sam: Hey, I'm writing a letter of reference for Charles but I'm not sure of what pronoun to use.
Seamus: Oh, you gotta use He/She/One/They/E/Ey/Hu/Jee/Ney/Peh/Per/Thon/Ve/Xe/Yo/Ze/Zhe.
Sam: Why so many?
Seamus: He/She/One/They/E/Ey/Hu/Jee/Ney/Peh/Per/Thon/Ve/Xe/Yo/Ze/Zhe is a Schrögender.
Sam: Ooooohhhh. Makes sense.
Me: Oh it's quite simple, really: I identify as a Schrögender. That is, my gender is a quantum superposition of "gender-states" , until said superposition is measured. The wave-function then collapses and a specific gender in a specific point in time can be evaluated.
Iain: So...you don't know your gender until someone asks you?
Me: No, you ignoramus, I am ALL genders and NO genders ALL AT THE SAME TIME until someone asks. Sheesh, get a degree.
Sam: Hey, I'm writing a letter of reference for Charles but I'm not sure of what pronoun to use.
Seamus: Oh, you gotta use He/She/One/They/E/Ey/Hu/Jee/Ney/Peh/Per/Thon/Ve/Xe/Yo/Ze/Zhe.
Sam: Why so many?
Seamus: He/She/One/They/E/Ey/Hu/Jee/Ney/Peh/Per/Thon/Ve/Xe/Yo/Ze/Zhe is a Schrögender.
Sam: Ooooohhhh. Makes sense.
Schrögender by Falkatore December 5, 2016
