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Schlammered

Significantly intoxicated to the point where words are slurred .
Sarah was so schlammered last night when I was talking to her on messenger I could barely understand what she was saying.
Schlammered by Chelsea/Sarah December 14, 2008
Getting so drunk that you are smashed and hammered at the same time.
Eric: Dude; I was so drunk last night, I think I ate from a dog bowl
Phil: Yeah man... You were shammered!
Shammered by Mr BigG February 14, 2015

schmammered 

The act of getting too drunk and trying to tell people how drunk you by using the word either smashed or hammered. But seeing that your so drunk you can't talk, in the middle of your sentence you get real confused and the word "schmammered" slurringly comes out of your mouth.
Amanda put down her drink, looked me in the eyes, got real excited and said, "Schmaynard, I'm Schmammered."
schmammered by Schmaynard August 31, 2008

shmammered 

To be beyond simple intoxication. Loud, rambunctious and incoherent speech is usually present, as well as a sever lack of balance. Can easily lead to vomiting.
Dude, you were so shmammered last night you didn't know your own name and puked all over the place
shmammered by David July 7, 2004

Shwammered 

The point of drinking where you surpass the "shit-faced" "hammered" and "wasted" stages. This is followed by a necessary blackout and possible inability to not remember what happened the night before. (Warning! In the morning, you'll have the world's worst hangover and you'll want to mutter the infamous words "I'm never drinking again")
Last night I got so shwammered I woke up in the morning in the public restroom of our residence hall naked with blood all over my hands.

I was so shwammered last night, I don't know how I got home or why there were 3 mexicans in my bed with me and my girlfriend this morning.

I was so shwammered last night, I'm never drinking again.
Shwammered by r-fine23 April 25, 2010

Getting Schlagered 

Face first, hands second.

This occurs when somebody wipes out and the above happens: their faces strikes the ground before their hands can catch them.
He's definitely going to end up getting Schlagered.
Whoa, he just got absolutely Schlagered.

(YouTube "Matt Schlager 13 flat 13" for the origin of the phrase)
Getting Schlagered by RAWphenom October 18, 2011