Plastiocene
/PLAS-tee-oh-seen/ (noun)
The current unofficial epoch in Earth's geologic timeline, marked by the overwhelming presence of plastic in every ecosystem, organism, and orifice. A synthetic age of denial, brought to you by disposable culture, microwave convenience, and Karenian rituals of consumption.
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🗿Definition:
An era defined by polymer saturation—where rain, breast milk, snowflakes, sea salt, and even your dreams test positive for microplastics. In the Plastiocene, the planet is a landfill with Wi-Fi. Humans are host organisms for garbage with credit scores.
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🧽 Used in a sentence:
> “We’re not in the Anthropocene anymore, grandma—we’re deep in the Plastiocene. Eat your microplastic cornflakes and say thank you.”
/PLAS-tee-oh-seen/ (noun)
The current unofficial epoch in Earth's geologic timeline, marked by the overwhelming presence of plastic in every ecosystem, organism, and orifice. A synthetic age of denial, brought to you by disposable culture, microwave convenience, and Karenian rituals of consumption.
---
🗿Definition:
An era defined by polymer saturation—where rain, breast milk, snowflakes, sea salt, and even your dreams test positive for microplastics. In the Plastiocene, the planet is a landfill with Wi-Fi. Humans are host organisms for garbage with credit scores.
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🧽 Used in a sentence:
> “We’re not in the Anthropocene anymore, grandma—we’re deep in the Plastiocene. Eat your microplastic cornflakes and say thank you.”
> “We’re not in the Anthropocene anymore, grandma—we’re deep in the Plastiocene. Eat your microplastic cornflakes and say thank you.”
by PlutoKrazo July 19, 2025
Get the Plastiocene mug.Plastiocene (noun):
The current synthetic epoch in Earth’s history, characterized by the rise of petroleum-born life forms, microplastic DNA entanglement, and the global worship of single-use gods. Defined by layers of Tupperware, Barbie limbs, dental floss, and cigarette filters fossilized in ocean sediment and toddler intestines.
The current synthetic epoch in Earth’s history, characterized by the rise of petroleum-born life forms, microplastic DNA entanglement, and the global worship of single-use gods. Defined by layers of Tupperware, Barbie limbs, dental floss, and cigarette filters fossilized in ocean sediment and toddler intestines.
by PlutoKrazo July 18, 2025
Get the Plastiocene mug.