News

Illusions created by the corporate elite to suppress knowledge to the general public. The knowledge typically suppressed is the true effects of climate change, political corruption, the Vatican Archives, rigged elections, along with many other topics.
Tyrone "I can't wait to hear about the latest "unarmed black teen" shot by a white male officer today by the hate-mongering news."
by A Human Male January 12, 2021
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News

News is a way for journalists to make money. It's also a way for people to find out what's happening all over the place at any given time.
I want to go on one of those big fancy news shows.
by MultiFest September 30, 2017
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News

The go to TV show if you want to hear about all the horrible stuff that happened throughout the world during the day
On VERY RARE occasions, they'll air something positive
Research shows that the news is now a leading cause of depression
by Metallicajunkie October 04, 2018
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News

Making money off of other people's actions. Every murder, every rape, every molestation, every mass shooting, every movie release, and every political gaffe is another dollar in my pocket. (But don't say their names because only I should be allowed to bolster my fame with the murder of innocent people)
News anchor "I contribute to society.... By waiting for other people to contribute to society.... And then talking about it.... LOOK HOW HARD I WORK! You should get out of bed and word harder. Like me! So I can report on you working separately but equally hard. Because I work just-a-oh-so-hard. I'm such a hard worker! Look at me!!"
by Hym Iam April 16, 2022
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News

noun (usually used ironically)

Archaic: “new” information about the world at large. Often fact-based and relevant.

Current: Opinionated propaganda designed to obfuscate facts in favour of one political ideology or another. Also pointless information about prominent media figures.
“In today’s news, Donald Trump said something racist.”

“In today’s news, we should invade Iraq because they might have a nuke

“In today’s news, Kylie Jenner almost named her child “Rose””
by Justin Cyder March 14, 2019
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News

Amongst a small group of friends in Solihull, West Midlands UK, it is the way to greet. It also functions as certain bridges for sentences, for example, using it to define actions and opinions etc.
In greeting:
"News."
"News"

In conversation:
"What sort of news are you getting on?"
"News of the drinking variety"

In object:
"Woah! That stunt Marty McFly does in Back To The Future 2, where he escapes from Biff in the tunnel is the news!!"
by Tom Honeyfield December 16, 2004
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News

Ken: Couldn’t make it to the show tonight?
Bob: Nah. I was busy watching the People’s News Network for Radical Leftist Propaganda.
Ken: Oh I love CNN!
by AdamSmith69420 January 28, 2021
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