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Saturbating 

The act of spending an exorbent amount of time looking at ones own personal accomplishments statistics.

Often a co-worker who is always checking out their own sales numbers or sales stats.

Or the friend who wants to see their all the stats at the end of your favorite multi-player video game(i.e. Halo, Gears of War, Rock Band, etc.).
Joe: Alright lets go on to the next round of the game...

Frank: Wait dude I want to see how many head shots I got that round.... Woa I killed Bill 18 times...Jim you suck....

Joe: Alright Frank quit saturbating lets go...
Saturbating by munciemike May 23, 2009

pamerbating

(Verb)

Masturbating with Pam cooking spray as lubricant.
Can't go with u tonight ill be pamerbating.
pamerbating by popvegasallstar March 14, 2010

pasturbating 

Masturbating to something good that has happened to you or a friend in the past.
1. "Dude, do you remember that one time I got laid?" "Yeah, I'm pasturbating right now!"
2. "Pasturbation really is the best, especially if it happened to you!"
pasturbating by Xaneth April 4, 2014

Pastorbating 

Accusing the media of unfairly and self indulgently going after Obama for his ties to racist, homophoe and afro-centrist hatemonger Jeremiah Wright.
Commonly used in the nutroots such as Democratic Underground,
usually by the far left black nationalists such as Frenchiecat and her alter ego Catherina.
The media is all in a self inflicted frenzy again. They are pastorbating.

Maturbating 

To masturbate maturely, typically while wearing a monocle, top hat, and smoking from a corn cob pipe
I wish to partake in the act of Maturbating, where did I leave my monocle and cob pipe?
Maturbating by Veretus September 5, 2010

Pastorbating 

The use of Reverend Jeremiah Wright to distract from the discussion of real issues in the 2008 presidential election.
Rather than discuss the issues with Senator Obama, Chris Matthews, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly chose to engage in some pastorbating