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Saturbating 

The act of spending an exorbent amount of time looking at ones own personal accomplishments statistics.

Often a co-worker who is always checking out their own sales numbers or sales stats.

Or the friend who wants to see their all the stats at the end of your favorite multi-player video game(i.e. Halo, Gears of War, Rock Band, etc.).
Joe: Alright lets go on to the next round of the game...

Frank: Wait dude I want to see how many head shots I got that round.... Woa I killed Bill 18 times...Jim you suck....

Joe: Alright Frank quit saturbating lets go...
Saturbating by munciemike May 23, 2009
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Sexturbating 

Masturbating while sexting, which is talking about sex while texting and masturbating to it.
Sexturbating shows how stupid this next generation going to be

Johnny: Oh my God sexting *jack off* for seral

Jeff Saturdaying 

the act of blocking cock very well
I've been trying to have relations with this girl all night, but her husky friend keeps Jeff Saturdaying me.

slasturbating 

Jimmy fell asleep with his dick in his hand and woke up with semen all over him and exclaimed, "Shit, I was slasturbating again!"
slasturbating by shittydrumsalot October 26, 2009

Pac-sturbating 

The act of playing Pac-Man or Ms.Pac-Man while masturbating.
I couldn't decide whether to play Pac-Man or masturbate, so I ended up pac-sturbating.
Pac-sturbating by Izmar July 12, 2010

softurbating 

The act of beating off with a semi, or completely, flaccid penis. This is also known as "limp dick masturbating".
I really like delivery services, so when I saw the UPS truck drive past my house unexpectedly I had to whip it out and begin softurbating for a brief moment.

What can brown do for me? It can give me a reason to yank it totally limp!
softurbating by El Boner June 4, 2010

Shiturbating 

Sorry for the mess in the bathroom, I was shiturbating.
Shiturbating by thesavagebreast June 19, 2014
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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