Saturbating

The act of spending an exorbent amount of time looking at ones own personal accomplishments statistics.

Often a co-worker who is always checking out their own sales numbers or sales stats.

Or the friend who wants to see their all the stats at the end of your favorite multi-player video game(i.e. Halo, Gears of War, Rock Band, etc.).

Joe: Alright lets go on to the next round of the game...

Frank: Wait dude I want to see how many head shots I got that round.... Woa I killed Bill 18 times...Jim you suck....

Joe: Alright Frank quit saturbating lets go...

by munciemike May 23, 2009

Sexturbating

Masturbating while sexting, which is talking about sex while texting and masturbating to it.

Sexturbating shows how stupid this next generation going to be

Johnny: Oh my God sexting *jack off* for seral

by browngirlsdonttakebs April 20, 2009

Jeff Saturdaying

the act of blocking cock very well

I've been trying to have relations with this girl all night, but her husky friend keeps Jeff Saturdaying me.

by caucasiansensationgc September 16, 2011

slasturbating

masturbating in your sleep

Jimmy fell asleep with his dick in his hand and woke up with semen all over him and exclaimed, "Shit, I was slasturbating again!"

by shittydrumsalot October 26, 2009

Pac-sturbating

The act of playing Pac-Man or Ms.Pac-Man while masturbating.

I couldn't decide whether to play Pac-Man or masturbate, so I ended up pac-sturbating.

by Izmar July 12, 2010

softurbating

The act of beating off with a semi, or completely, flaccid penis. This is also known as "limp dick masturbating".

I really like delivery services, so when I saw the UPS truck drive past my house unexpectedly I had to whip it out and begin softurbating for a brief moment.

What can brown do for me? It can give me a reason to yank it totally limp!

by El Boner June 4, 2010

Shiturbating

When masturbating while taking a dump.

Sorry for the mess in the bathroom, I was shiturbating.

by thesavagebreast June 19, 2014