As soon as I saw that the next exit had a Bojangles, I bojaculated all over my pants, the steering wheel, and the windshield. It was probably the messiest bojaculation ever.
Early onset of baldness. Named for the Seventies TV character "Kojac" played by bald actor, Telly Savalas, who shaved his head long before it became popular.
"Are you losing your hair?"
"Yeah, Premature Kojaculation runs in my family. Either that or I'm growing a lot more forehead."