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masturbate and switch 

Masturbate and switch — the erotic KINK of having sex with one person while thinking of another; or, of talking dirty to a sexual partner and allowing them to verbally — either from your mouth or theirs — acknowledge deep sexual attraction for another person; or, for an extreme sexual scenario.

This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!

On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.

On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.

Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!

Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!

But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!

Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!
Him: Wow, that was a quick orgasm, babe!!! You must have been really horny.

Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!

Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.
i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

Comedic Masturbation 

When you are so funny by yourself that you laugh out loud without any participation by a partner.

Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.
My humor is not always understood by others and I frequently find myself involuntarily engaging in comedic masturbation.

masturbate 

Act people commit when browsing Urban Dictionary
masturbate by 32121 July 22, 2016

Bureaucratic Masturbation 

noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.
My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!

Masturbation guilt 

The sense of guilt you feel post-masturbation when you realized what you have just jerked yourself off to.
"Oh God, what have I done? I did not just masturbate to bestiality.. talk about masturbation guilt.
Masturbation guilt by GunaDK January 19, 2012
More from Urban Dictionary

Plate of Brown 

A plate of brown consists of foods that have little to no nutritional value, and are typically deep fried. A true plate of brown will also be accompanied by a dark soda.
Wanna go to meal hall & grab a plate of brown?
Plate of Brown by Cheddar Craigson September 18, 2020
Word of the Day on October 22, 2026

Larpenomics

When finance content creators rent out fancy cars and flex cash to seem richer than they really are in order to promote and sell their “get rich quick” courses.
Andrew Tate has mastered the field of larpenomics
Larpenomics by Rbois09 October 21, 2026
Word of the Day on October 21, 2026

Palmela Handerson 

Your hand that you masturbate with.
Girlfriend: What are you going to do for the next week while I'm on holiday?

Boyfriend: Have a visit from Palmela Handerson of course!
Word of the Day on October 20, 2026
x:"Girl your fit chewed today!"
Chewed by iod1o March 30, 2022
Word of the Day on October 19, 2026

Blue Movie 

A pornographic film.

The use of the word "blue" to refer to sexually explicit content was first recorded in Scotland in 1824. "Blue" meant "lewd" because prostitutes dressed in blue gowns.
I found your stash of blue movies under your bed.
Blue Movie by Shayde79 January 20, 2011
Word of the Day on October 18, 2026

fache-couture 

French slang, which translated, means "bull's fashion" but basically equates to "hyper trendy" or overly trendy. Used when a person wishes to express distaste at the latest fashion trend/fad, because it seems that everyone has a certain item of clothing or is wearing it. This term is most frequently heard in Paris but is slowly spreading to other parts of France.
1. That Burberry scarf is so fache-couture.
2. That purple American Apparel hoodie is so fache-couture.
fache-couture by bkgmh46x0x March 18, 2008
Word of the Day on October 17, 2026
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