Jonked
To be jonked is to be knocked out for a really long time. Normally from a big meal such as a free range chickens or maybe alcohol
Jonked by AbuComingFast March 20, 2021
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Jonked
A “state of being” induced by any substance that alters the state of your physical and/or psychological function. This adjective is only applicable to substances that have been stigmatized (does NOT apply to alcohol, caffeine and tobacco, despite their medical categorization to be considered drugs). This can be amplified with a nicotine head rush (i.e. borrow that one friend’s vape)
This word is often used in place of more “general” language to specify that one is THOROUGHLY inebriated.
If you imagine that music during sobriety is 2-dimensional, then music while jonked is 3-dimensional where you can hear all the layers and instruments of the songs separately from one another. Some song suggestions for when you’re jonked: Past Life by Børns, Foreplay by Jalen Santoy, Lucy by Still Woozy, and 100 Grandkids by Mac Miller
A common experience of being jonked without external stimuli (no phones, just vibes) may be cases of deep introspective metacognition. You begin to understand yourself and the world from a deeper and more meaningful place, but at the same time, feel so disconnected from reality because there is too much to ever understand.
Although your higher thinking is amplified, your mental ability to perform basic thinking will be impacted. You (or one specific friend) may often forget little things like someone’s cellphone or the tv remote in odd places resulting in long quests to search for the missing object.
One may also say “you are REALLY HiGH” (with lowercase i)
This word is often used in place of more “general” language to specify that one is THOROUGHLY inebriated.
If you imagine that music during sobriety is 2-dimensional, then music while jonked is 3-dimensional where you can hear all the layers and instruments of the songs separately from one another. Some song suggestions for when you’re jonked: Past Life by Børns, Foreplay by Jalen Santoy, Lucy by Still Woozy, and 100 Grandkids by Mac Miller
A common experience of being jonked without external stimuli (no phones, just vibes) may be cases of deep introspective metacognition. You begin to understand yourself and the world from a deeper and more meaningful place, but at the same time, feel so disconnected from reality because there is too much to ever understand.
Although your higher thinking is amplified, your mental ability to perform basic thinking will be impacted. You (or one specific friend) may often forget little things like someone’s cellphone or the tv remote in odd places resulting in long quests to search for the missing object.
One may also say “you are REALLY HiGH” (with lowercase i)
Jonked by pokemon-go_player42069 March 7, 2020
Kim Jonged
1. To be one-upped (repeatedly) by the supposed underdog in a game of nuclear brinkmanship.
2. To have your servers hacked by agents of a country that goes dark at night.
3. To be soundly beaten in an old-timey name-calling war (you lob a lyrically irrelevant insult based on a '70s Elton John song, and are hit back with a surprisingly apt burn that sounds like your name and brings an archaic word back into the modern lexicon: Dotard)
4. To spit vitriol, exposing your inability to actually do anything, and escalating a dangerous game of chicken.
5. To be punked, again and again, by the fat kid with the SpongeBob SquarePants undercut.
2. To have your servers hacked by agents of a country that goes dark at night.
3. To be soundly beaten in an old-timey name-calling war (you lob a lyrically irrelevant insult based on a '70s Elton John song, and are hit back with a surprisingly apt burn that sounds like your name and brings an archaic word back into the modern lexicon: Dotard)
4. To spit vitriol, exposing your inability to actually do anything, and escalating a dangerous game of chicken.
5. To be punked, again and again, by the fat kid with the SpongeBob SquarePants undercut.
"Dang, did you hear Trump threaten North Korea with 'fire and fury like the world has never seen'?"
"Yeah, damn fool. Now he's damned if he does and damned if he don't. He just got Kim Jonged!"
"Mock me, will you, Sony? Well, pow! You've been Kim Jonged!"
"Yeah, damn fool. Now he's damned if he does and damned if he don't. He just got Kim Jonged!"
"Mock me, will you, Sony? Well, pow! You've been Kim Jonged!"
Kim Jonged by denumb October 12, 2017
Douche Joked
When you say a really funny joke quietly, where only one person hears it. Then the douche bag that heard it says it out loud and gets all the credit.
Douche Joked by Hobo Destroyer September 25, 2009