Jizztard 

A retard who doesn't know how to jizz.
Or how to masterbate.

Bob Marley was a Jizztard

Jizztard by Mr.Whippy XD November 22, 2010

Jizzard 

1. A lizard covered in semen, or 'jizz'
2. A blizzard made out of jizz.
3. A wizard that excels in acts of wizardry combined with jizz.

1. 'Billy looked at the jizzard... and he knew he was at the wrooong side of town.'

2. 'Suddenly a jizzard appeared and after hours of unspeakable suffering Billy was left weakened and broken on the ground.'

3. 'Hello young hobbit, do you seek 'adventure'?' Asked the Jizzard.

Jizzard by 1921 June 1, 2011

jiztard

One who is composed of the fluids the penis secretes while acting like an utter idiot, therefore being referred to as a "retard." Widely and mainly used as an insult, this word can be endearing if used by the right person.

Example 1:

Sarah- "God damn it! My boyfriend juz broke up with me!"
Kate- "Fuck that jiztard! He didn't deserve you. You can do better than that."
Sarah- "Yeah, les' go to dah club and get hyphy up in dat bitch!"

Example 2:
Girl- "Baby, do you wana smash?"
Boy- "You know you don't have to ask you, jiztard."
Girl- "Mmmm, I love you."

jiztard by SarK8 August 14, 2009

Jizztar

1. When you take a jizz on someones guitar. Usually out of anger or jealously.

2. Also the act of forming your jizz onto a flat surface into the shape of a guitar.

1. Tom: "Man, that guy is a prick to me, I'm going to give him a jizztar sometime."

2. Teddy: "Hey, did you see that jizztar I made last night?"
Mary: "You're sick."
Teddy: "v_v"

Jizztar by Darth_X April 17, 2008

Jizzard 

The act of four men masturbating into a box fan with the sole objective of blasting jizz onto a lucky participant’s face.

The setup for a proper jizzard is crucial. One must first select a lucky participant to place their face 12-16 inches away from an electric box fan. Next, four male volunteers gather around the box fan, two on each side. The male volunteers must attempt to ejaculate into the fan simultaneously thus hurling a blizzard of jizz at the participant’s face. It is encouraged to don proper safety goggles during this activity.

Betty showed up to work today with an eyepatch. When asked what happened, she simply replied “jizzard,” silly amateur must’ve forgotten her safety goggles.

Jizzard by Daddylongdick813 March 12, 2019

Jazztard 

A combination between a jazz lover and a bastard!

Look at Matt listening to Fats Waller, what a complete jazztard!

Jazztard by Fete November 24, 2005

Jizzard 

(Noun) A mystical wizard who ejaculates on your forehead leaving a sparkling teardrop shaped jizzlob right between your eyes, commonly found at an EDM festival. This is a high honor, and those bespeckled should wear it with pride. Note: Do not look directly into the Jizzard's eyes when he blesses you.

"Dude, I had the best time at EDC last month. I even met the Jizzard!"

Jizzard by CleeTorith February 20, 2023