jiztard

One who is composed of the fluids the penis secretes while acting like an utter idiot, therefore being referred to as a "retard." Widely and mainly used as an insult, this word can be endearing if used by the right person.

Example 1:

Sarah- "God damn it! My boyfriend juz broke up with me!"
Kate- "Fuck that jiztard! He didn't deserve you. You can do better than that."
Sarah- "Yeah, les' go to dah club and get hyphy up in dat bitch!"

Example 2:
Girl- "Baby, do you wana smash?"
Boy- "You know you don't have to ask you, jiztard."
Girl- "Mmmm, I love you."

by SarK8 August 14, 2009

Jizard

When you are having sex with your partner and you pretend to be a wizard, and then pull out your penis and use it as a magic wand and jizz all over your partner while at the same time yelling 'abracadabra'

Last night I was having a fantastic bang session and I decided that she need to be given the Jizard!

by Bikeboy June 26, 2018

Jizzard

1. A lizard covered in semen, or 'jizz'
2. A blizzard made out of jizz.
3. A wizard that excels in acts of wizardry combined with jizz.

1. 'Billy looked at the jizzard... and he knew he was at the wrooong side of town.'

2. 'Suddenly a jizzard appeared and after hours of unspeakable suffering Billy was left weakened and broken on the ground.'

3. 'Hello young hobbit, do you seek 'adventure'?' Asked the Jizzard.

by 1921 June 1, 2011

Jizzard

The act of four men masturbating into a box fan with the sole objective of blasting jizz onto a lucky participant’s face.

The setup for a proper jizzard is crucial. One must first select a lucky participant to place their face 12-16 inches away from an electric box fan. Next, four male volunteers gather around the box fan, two on each side. The male volunteers must attempt to ejaculate into the fan simultaneously thus hurling a blizzard of jizz at the participant’s face. It is encouraged to don proper safety goggles during this activity.

Betty showed up to work today with an eyepatch. When asked what happened, she simply replied “jizzard,” silly amateur must’ve forgotten her safety goggles.

by Daddylongdick813 March 12, 2019

Jizzard

(Noun) A mystical wizard who ejaculates on your forehead leaving a sparkling teardrop shaped jizzlob right between your eyes, commonly found at an EDM festival. This is a high honor, and those bespeckled should wear it with pride. Note: Do not look directly into the Jizzard's eyes when he blesses you.

"Dude, I had the best time at EDC last month. I even met the Jizzard!"

by CleeTorith February 20, 2023

Jizzard Blizzard

Jizzard Blizzard is a sex act in which 5 men and 1 woman gather in a meat freezer. Once in the freezer the men surround the woman and then proceed to masturbate into fans aimed at the woman, so that their jizz is blown onto the girl at once like a blizzard.

Person number 1

"Hey man I was feelin' adventurous so me and my buddies gave my woman a jizzard blizzard!"
Person number 2

"Thats ill, how was it?"
Person number 1
"It was a bit cold."

by Dragonsomen April 17, 2014

Jizzard

A Jizzard is a Blizzard made out of Jizz. It may also refer to a parody of The Blizzard of Oz, The Jizzard of Drake. for an example

Ozzy:"Hey man, have you listened to my Blizzard of Oz album?"
Zakk:"Yeah, I have, but I prefer the Jizzard of Zakk, haha."

by UncleJizzy April 4, 2010