hairsturbate

when one touches their hair excessively and so tenderly and lovingly it almost resembles masturbation. Teenage girls constantly hairsturbate, being as they are completely obsessed with how their hair looks ALL OF THE TIME.

*Morgan keeps touching her hair in the hallway at school*
Morgan: I straightened my hair this morning, does it look alright *grabs and tucks behind ears, messes up then combs through with fingers.*
Olivia: It looks fine.
Morgan: Really? I thought it looked away, maybe if i wore it like this...
Olivia: Bye! *walks away quickly to Jenna*
Jenna: What's with Morgan touching her hair?
Olivia: I'm not sure, but i don't think i can stand to watch her hairsturbate for much longer.

by ding dong debra February 7, 2009

Hairsturbate

The act of masturbating while holding a woman's hair in the same hand. Usually to fulfill some kind of hair fetish.

My woman wasn't in the mood last night, but she let me hairsturbate for a while. Oh yeah!

by Joe Dunson October 16, 2010

Hamasturbate

To do something that only serves your selfish needs and does not do anything with regards for anyone else nor does it advance your group forward. Not to mention your self-indulgent actions just leave a hot and sticky mess.

The majority of Arab leaders only seem to be able to hamasturbate. They pleasure themselves at the expense of their people and their people's future.

by Snarcitz November 24, 2012

hasturbate

to masturbate while under the hallucinogenic effect of opioids

Dude 1: that new VR porn is so realistic! It took me to all kinds of places besides the bedroom.
I remember surfing the pacific, wrestling some hobos, going down on Danny Devito and punching a puma!
Dude 2: umm I was using the VR headset last night....
Dude 1: Oh...I may have just done a whole heap of heroin instead
Dude 2: .....
Danny Devito: next time you hasturbate fella leave me out of it!
Dude 2: bet he didn't complain last night! (high fives dude 1)

by GozUnlimited July 27, 2016

hatesturbate

The act of masturbating to someone you hate. The homely person's hate-fuck.

Dude, that Tila Tequila is one nasty, anti-semitic piece of trash but I will definitely hatesturbate to her porn later.

by Prestige Johnson January 24, 2014

Halfsturbate

Almost being able to masturbate to something. Being in a semi-turned on state. You want to be turned on by what's in front of you but it's not quite hot enough to give you a good hard on, like a non lesbian porno.

Roger: Hey Charlie, what did you think of that new movie Jennifer's Body?

Charlie: Total garbage man. You don't even see Megan Fox nude. I could only halfsturbate to any of the good scenes where she was almost nude.

by captain bry December 28, 2009

Hamsturbate

When you use a hamster for dirty deeds. Usually will end with the hamster dying.

Bob: I got a new hamster!
Sam: Then let me hamsturbate with it.
Bob: But you'll kill it!
Sam: It's okay...*snatches hamster*

*a couple minutes later*

Bob: MY GOD!!

by Paulton January 6, 2008