If the all Toothless Morons in the Midwest and Cretins in the Florida Panhandle didn’t believe the Russian state sponsored Propaganda flooded onto social media, we would have never elected President Douchebag; that is why they all have a garage full of products from Ronco like Popeil's Pocket Fisherman.
One who makes douchebag statements, particularly sexist, racist or otherwise bigoted ones, then decides whether they were “just joking” or dead serious based on whether other people in the group approve or not.
"Oh man women should just stay in the kitchen, it's the only place they're useful"
*with one group* "Haha just kidding, that's sexist"
*with anther* "lol amirite"
"You're a total schrodinger’s douchebag you know that right?"
When a douchebag gets ready for an evening out on the town he wants to smell his freshest. Nothing in his arsenal of body sprays, lotions, colognes, deodorants and the like are as important as his "douchebag febreeze", aka AXE BODY SPRAY. A douchebag will thoroughly saturate themself with their AXE BODY SPRAY; they cannot use a normal amount, as they don't think it will be enough to keep them fresh throughout the evening. This is to be applied right before walking out the door, as the smell needs to be as strong as possible for interaction with the ladies. If ever you find yourself getting a whiff of what smell like hugh hefners balls dipped in kerosene, watch out; there is a douchebag on the prowl. Run, fast and far.
brad--i need to smell fresh tonight bro
tj--use my axe body spray broski, there's half a bottle left, is that enough?
brad--i guess it will have to be brah spray my swoled up muscles down
When a needy & pathetic girl posts/tweets her desperation for a boyfriend. Usually getting the attention of every douchebag who's able to read it, knowing they'll need little to no effort to get her, keep her, and treat her as crappy as they want.
Post: "I really wish I just had someone to be by my side. I'm so tired of being alone. Why doesn't anyone out there want me?"
Reply: "You know damn well that's a douchebag casting call. Now every asswipe is gonna come running to treat you like crap."
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!