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Dickpressed 

When you are in the need of dick and it’s causing depression.
ugh I’m so dickpressed!”

“Why can’t I find a man that’s worthy, I’m fucking dickpressed!”
Dickpressed by Sargonnas January 4, 2018

Damsel-in-Distressed

This is where a woman manufactures an intimate yet fake online relationship with a (usually lonely) male to con him out of money. After she sinks her claws in, she comes up with a story that her electricity and internet are about to be cut off and she won't be able to talk to him anymore. The guy believes he is a knight in shining armor coming to her rescue and wires her a few hundred dollars. Meanwhile, the grifter girl has another 6 marks on the hook who she's currently working. (The guy is distressed when he finally figures it out…)
Dude, you look like hell! What happened?

I met this really great girl over the internet. We fell in love and were planning to meet in person. But she lost her job and couldn't pay her bills. So I sent her some money to help her out but I haven't heard from her in days. I'm really worried something happened to her.

Dude! You totally got Damsel-in-Distressed!

What?

Uh, never mind.

dickpressed 

Lack of sexual activity for an extended period of time, causing someone to become depressed.
GIRL, I HAVEN'T HAD SEX IN SO LONG. I THINK IM DICKPRESSED.
dickpressed by anailyak June 16, 2016

dickpression 

The state of being sad or upset because of the loss of dick in your life.
John: Hey man, is Meaghan ok?

James: Not really, she just broke up with her bf and now she's going trough a dickpression.
dickpression by TheMusicMan000 August 15, 2016

Post Mortem Distress Birthing 

Let me guess. You saw this on a reddit post and decided to check if it was real. Its not lol
Person 1: my mother got Post Mortem Distress Birthing
Person 2: that doesnt exist u fucking idiot

dumbass in distress 

An annoying character who's only purpose is to be rescued, to the point where you just want to say, "You know what? Let the train hit 'em!"

First used by The Nostalgia Critic in his "Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress" video.
Bella Swan is such a dumbass in distress!
dumbass in distress by katrinahood December 1, 2013