Dexcom

A chip/transmitter for diabetic people that implants into their body and measures information like blood sugar and other things. Although I have a suspicion that it makes the person WIFI/ Bluetooth compatible and can connect to the internet.

Me: Hey Jared, is that Dexcom supposed to make you WIFI compatible?

Jared: No! It’s supposed to measure my blood sugar!

Me: Huh, I can’t connect my phone to you. You need to update your software.
Jared: SHUT UP!