Christian M

Someone who smells like absolute shit.

Eww whats that smell??
thats just Christian M.

by funkslayer August 3, 2022

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I'm/he's/she's a Christian, so you can trust me/him/her

All the more reason not to trust the person... if the fact that someone is a "born-aginner" even has to be mentioned, then there must be something less-than-honest/honorable that said supposedly-clean-living person has to hide --- "methinks he doth protest too much"!

I have seldom if ever had any more luck with the honesty/integrity/consistency/reliability/kindness of someone about whom I was solemnly assured that, "I'm/he's/she's a Christian, so you can trust me/him/her"... in fact, if anything, these stuck-up Bible-thunpers often seem to be even BIGGER a**h**es than their "non-believer" counterparts! They think that "God will forgive them" for anything they do, and so they make little true effort to keep their word or otherwise treat their fellow humans with even basic decency.

by QuacksO July 27, 2019

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christian minecraft server

A place where I would really appreciate if you don't swear, Okay?

That bad boi did a swear about his pepe in my Christian Minecraft Server, and it made me cry.

by Knowredge December 5, 2017

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Devout Christian Mom

A Devout Christian Mom (DCM) is like my mom. She's the kind of mom who tries to control every aspect of her kid's lives in fear of her religion. She won't admit she fears religion, but inside she probably does. She believes anyone who is gay, believes in evolution, or thinks we should deal with climate change is a Satanist. If you're her kid, you're screwed. She thinks spanking kids only serves to make them strong and brave. She'd prefer to give a kid a shitty religious education rather than a public school education because, "God said so", or whatever she believes.

Normal kid: "Aw crap, I tripped!"
Devout Christian Mom: "Did you just say CRAP!?"
Kid: "Well, yeah..."
*Kid gets sentenced to being spanked ten times every other day*

Kid: "I can't take this! I WANT TO KILL MYSELF!"
Devout Christian Mom: "WHAT!? Come on, we're going to have you talk to the pastor. You have been playing those violent video games again!"
Kid: "We don't even have violent video games in our house!"
Devout Christian Mom: "Are you saying that I'm a fool!? More spankin's!"
*Kids gets even more depressed and hateful, and eventually kills himself*

Devout Christian Mom: "WHY DID THE DEVIL HAVE TO MAKE MY BABY LISTEN TO RAP MUSIC!? Oh Ronald Reagan, PLEASE BRING MY BABY BACK!"

Reagan's ghost: "Shut up lady. My only advice for you is to get yourself spayed."

Devout Christian Mom: "Birth Control is evil! How dare you. You aren't the real Ronald Reagan, you're SATAN!"

Reagan's ghost: *Floats away in frustration*

by Mr. big E. March 23, 2019

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Christian Minecraft Server

A Minecraft Server with very strict rules. Swearing is usually prohibited. Heck and Frick are not allowed, but using the Lord's name in ANY WAY is prohibited. (Yes I actually went on a Christian Server, and saying OMG is not allowed.)

Player: Oh frick!
Admin: NO SWEARING ON MY GOOD CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!!!

by TheExtremeEvoker December 24, 2018

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