zoomercode
Shitty code written by some upcoming generations of programmers (typically Zoomers) founded on inexperience and often suffering heavily from the Dunning–Kruger effect because they simply do not know what they don't know, but they're very sure about their code being good because it's new, and anything else is bad because it is old.
Often relies heavily on tooling to spit out boilerplate while their IDE autocompletes most of the coding for them. Tends to use new and "exciting" tools the majority of which are abandoned in 2 years or less because the coders of the tools got bored, got the job they wanted, or most often just found out they were wrong about it making their jobs easier. Tend to be rich in buzzwords the zoomercoder doesn't actually understand and be over-engineered by injecting abstract ideas born from self important navel gazing far divorced from any problem solving of actual value.
Defining characteristics of zoomercode are running slowly, being resource intensive, high surface area code that is a chore to maintain, and tripling or more the time from concept to production ready code. The stated purpose of their code is to make fast code that is easy to maintain and fast to production, but it's entirely the opposite.
Often relies heavily on tooling to spit out boilerplate while their IDE autocompletes most of the coding for them. Tends to use new and "exciting" tools the majority of which are abandoned in 2 years or less because the coders of the tools got bored, got the job they wanted, or most often just found out they were wrong about it making their jobs easier. Tend to be rich in buzzwords the zoomercoder doesn't actually understand and be over-engineered by injecting abstract ideas born from self important navel gazing far divorced from any problem solving of actual value.
Defining characteristics of zoomercode are running slowly, being resource intensive, high surface area code that is a chore to maintain, and tripling or more the time from concept to production ready code. The stated purpose of their code is to make fast code that is easy to maintain and fast to production, but it's entirely the opposite.
"Why did we spend 2 years rebuilding our business logic from scratch? It cost so much money, it runs slow, it has less features, it's full of bugs, and now we rent three expensive servers instead of it running on a 90's Pentium. How does it manage to be worse in every way? They said they knew what they were doing. My business might not survive this."
"You need to watch out for zoomercode. Trying to replace a decade of iterated business logic in two years simply because it's old may very well have sunk your company. The coders were new and full of themselves and did not know or respect the work that went into what ran your company. My suggestion is fire the zoomercoders and iterate on your business logic, and if you wish to switch platforms understand it will take as much work all over again. You should also pick a platform that is already proven to be fast and run efficiently because no amount of coding can save a resource intensive and slow platform from itself."
"You need to watch out for zoomercode. Trying to replace a decade of iterated business logic in two years simply because it's old may very well have sunk your company. The coders were new and full of themselves and did not know or respect the work that went into what ran your company. My suggestion is fire the zoomercoders and iterate on your business logic, and if you wish to switch platforms understand it will take as much work all over again. You should also pick a platform that is already proven to be fast and run efficiently because no amount of coding can save a resource intensive and slow platform from itself."
zoomercode by earcs July 10, 2023
Get the zoomercode mug.