Skip to main content
Slang term for masturbation.

Any man born with a penis and a hand with at least a thumb and 2 fingers should be able to accomplish the feat.

Step 1: Find a good place to remove penis from pants. Suggestion: Shower, bedroom, dusty attic.

Step 2: Withdraw penis from pants.

Step 3: Double check location for humans and house pets. If they see you it could be uncomfortable.

Step 4: Open hand, place penis in hand, get a firm grip around your 'cock'. Lotion may be necessary to prevent chafing.

Step 5: Stroke penis with hand either gently or feverishly (or both).

Step 6: Repeat step 5 over and over until white fluid is ejected from the mushroom shaped head sitting atop the shaft. This should feel exquisite.
I enjoy feverishly whackin my cock in my dusty attic while rats bite at my toes and scrotum any chance I get.

I think about big fat Jamaican women when I am whackin my schlong. They make good grits and have jungle titties. I want to stick my penis in their large, dark, cavernous vaginas.
whackin mug front
Get the whackin mug.
See more merch

Whackin' Hand 

Hand or hands of an individual male that have been used to pleasure oneself.
Person #1: why didn't you give Rick a high 5?

Person #2: i ain't touching his hand yo, it's a whackin' hand.
Whackin' Hand by DaPredator May 17, 2010

Whackin n Pickles

When a midget prostitute goes to the store and buys a large jar of pickles; makes a bikini out of the pickle skin, and then proceeds to have sexual intercourse with a hippo.
In order to win her men over, sequoia performs the whackin n pickles routine; fortunately it has never failed.

whackin' it 

masterbation, or stroking the penis until a climax it reached.
we was whackin' it
whackin' it by dan-squared November 2, 2008

Whackin Munchies 

The sudden urge to whack off
Joe: Yo, I have to go.

Jonny: Why?

Joe: Because the whackin munchies!

Jonny: :O

Whackin' the Krakin 

Masturbating. To masturbate.

To release the krakin, when by krakin you mean your penis.
Tod: Hey Joe, were you just whackin' the krakin in the bathroom?

Joe: No.

whackin your dog 

don't be whackin yer dog.
whackin your dog by joey February 13, 2004