wankfie

A selfie taken during masturbation.

Uh oh, I just posted the wankfie from last night to everyone in my Facebook.

by the_deude November 29, 2015

wankfest

A Festival of Wank. A Proliferation of toss. An excess of jizz. A massive accumulation of useless remnants resulting from a bunch of wankers tossing all over their keyboards.

UrbanDictionary is a total wankfest.

by Titwanker May 22, 2004

wankfinder

bluetooth radar employed in airport or other mass transit location / social setting. acceptance of the device connection request means immediate "wanker" status.

getting a connection to an unsuspecting recipient using the "wankfinder" monicur, then quickly sending a piece of priceless filth and having it accepted before they realise their folly.

by Alistair Murray February 5, 2007

wankie

A handkerchief used solely for mopping up semenal fluids after masturbation.

Bored on the bus and your i-Phone battery is flat? Don't you wish you had a Wankie? Introducing the Wankie! Feel free to fap yourself stupid anytime, anywhere with this portable, reusable wank-cloth! It comes in a variety of colours and fabrics! For a limited time only, get the all new black silk Wankie!

I used to have to carry around a box of tissues with me in case I felt like wanking. Now with my new Wankie, I can let loose anytime, anywhere!

by DDDVesuvius July 7, 2011

wankie

a rotten hamburger

ew this wankie tastes bad

by A rottem hamburger June 23, 2015

Wankxiety

When you haven’t masturbated for a while, you need to release your load and can’t stop thinking about it.

‘Oh my god man, I have such Wankxiety!’

by Rockerman74 January 25, 2020

Media Wankfest

An issue which incurs intense press coverage. Frequently a trivial scandal which is blown out of proportion and causes amateur journalists to jizz themselves.

Media Wankfest: 'Wayne Rooney smokes a cigarette' - Front page headline for 436 newspapers.

by SoloKong June 12, 2011