Titwanker's definitions

tithead

English derogatory term for Police Constable. Derived from the shape of the standard issue bobby's helmet. That's 'helmet' as in hat.

Put yer chopper away. There's a tithead comin' round the corner.

by titwanker July 30, 2003

titwank

The act of pleasuring oneself by thrusting the erect member between a generous pair of bristols. Typically concludes with the delivery of a pearl necklace.

Phwoaar! She's got a shirtfull. I'd love a good titwank in those.

by titwanker April 10, 2003

knob-end

Witless fool, gullible oaf, village idiot.

You stupid knob-end!!

by titwanker August 15, 2003

slapper

In the North of England, this describes a worn-out dirtbox, usually one that's spent half a life selling it. Almost exclusively used with the adjective 'old'.

Look at that old slapper. I wouldn't touch her with yours.

by titwanker May 29, 2003

fuckpig

A very unattractive female person.

Look at that disgusting fuckpig!!

by titwanker July 30, 2003

wankfest

A Festival of Wank. A Proliferation of toss. An excess of jizz. A massive accumulation of useless remnants resulting from a bunch of wankers tossing all over their keyboards.

UrbanDictionary is a total wankfest.

by Titwanker May 22, 2004

pissflaps

Beef curtains. In polite circles, used as a euphemism to avoid the more direct reference to cunt.

Fucking Jesus! That tart's skirt is showing her pissflaps.

by titwanker May 29, 2003