An unvitation can take a few different forms, most notably;
1. Original.
Seinfeld episode "The Betrayal"
A last
minute invitation to an event such as a wedding,
birthday, or other gift giving gathering. An unvitation is sent to someone who the sender does not want to be present at the gathering, and with the last
minute notification they would be unable to attend. The desired result is that the recipient will feel obligated to buy the sender a gift, because they received an invitation,
yet the sender does not ever need to host this
person.
2. "You were invited"
A last
minute invitation to an event that had been planned for a longer period of
time. The recipient of this unvitation often would have been able to attend the event had they been included in the planning process, but by the
time they are made aware of the plans, they can not. The sender often uses this unvitation to deflect guilt by saying "But you were invited."
3. Hollow
empathy.
An invitation to a social gathering that is already underway. Often the sender of this unvitation is seeking to appear empathetic by inviting a lower status friend who had been excluded. Meanwhile, it is common that the sender knows the recipient is most likely waiting, and hoping for the invite. The sender knows that they could have extended the invitation earlier, but by waiting they received the status
bump of being the recipient's ticket to the gathering. The sender can signal their virtue by having offered the invitation.
Dave "Hey you guys didn'
t invite me hunting all season, what's up with that?"
Cory " I did invite you but you didn't come"
Dave " You had it planned for weeks but call me the night before at 9pm, that's an unvitation"
Wife " I guess we should send them a gift, they did invite us after all."
Husband " That was an unvitation, they know we can't get last minute child care. They just want more gifts."
Christine " Aww why isn't
Becky here?" *ring ring* " Aww
Becky you should come join us here."
Becky " No thanks, you could have invited me earlier, I'm not just sitting around waiting for an unvitation!"
