the one-eyed snake

Slang for a man's nether regions, the family jewel

I charmed the one-eyed snake a while ago.

the one-eyed snake by virgwith December 24, 2013

Patch the one eyed snake 

To wank, or masturbate.

Uncle Herbert told me to patch the one eyed snake, so I went out looking for a one with a box of band-aids. I eventually got tired as I couldn't find it, so I ran behind a bush and masturbated furiously.

Patch the one eyed snake by JayReynolds November 6, 2007

flogged the one-eyed snake 

Westerosi term for masturbated

"When I was twelve, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake. I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry! makes masturbation gestures Into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did."

- Tyrion Lannister

flogged the one-eyed snake by rider-of-chaos February 12, 2019

petting the one eyed snake 

the act of stroking your penis until a delightful load of love comes out.

Jeffrey's mom caught him petting the one eyed snake during the Britney Spears Video.

petting the one eyed snake by markass May 3, 2006

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi by Catamount June 21, 2008

pettin' the one-eyed snake

Synonym for pullin' your pork.

My mom caught me pettin' the one-eyed snake last night. So embarassing!

pettin' the one-eyed snake by boobies March 13, 2004

stroking the one eyed snake 

masterbating ones penis

i saw some awesome porn so i stroked the one eyed snake

stroking the one eyed snake by Justin Hell May 18, 2004