Long schlong telegong is a common phrase among german teachers when singing along loudly in the classroom. It can be written as Ľ0ňğ Șçhĺòńğ Țėľêğõňğ, too.

"Yeah Ľ0ňğ Șçhĺòńğ Țėľêğõňğ ❤️❤️❤️", sings my teacher. "Aiaiaiaiiai Long schlong telegong", answers my colleague.

Long schlong telegong by gollomosh September 3, 2022

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telebong

The act of smoking a bong on Skype or a similar service.

Hey dude, lets connect online later and we can Telebong!

telebong by lolcat216 September 22, 2018

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telefornication

Also known as "phone sex."

(phrase invented by AJ)

-I have been having these constant urges for telefornication.
-We telefornicated all night.
-When you move to Knight's Bridge, are you going to telefornicate with your lover?

telefornication by looover May 31, 2006

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Telefunken u47

a metaphor for a large dildo. it refers to the u47 microphone made by the German company called Telefunken, it was originally used by Frank Zappa in his album Joe's garage. the cylindrical shape plus the fact that the name sounds like fucken you, lend to the humor

Larry: we got a present for you

marry: what is it, what are you ganna give me
Larry: it looks just like a Telefunken u47... you'll love it
marry: with leather?

Telefunken u47 by aman of the box May 21, 2010

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Telefantastic Dissociative Delusional Disorder

Unlike Truman Show Delusion sufferers who see themselves as being the unwitting main character in a reality TV show, Telefantastic Dissociative Delusional Disorder sufferers see their life as being full-blown scripted, expensive serialised drama TV Series. They frame each year of their life as being a 'season', each week roughly equating to a single 'episode' of their show.

The sufferer twists known facts and does mental gymnastics to shoehorn their mundane lives into some form of 'season arc' for their character.

They know full well that they aren't really in a TV show. - they just desperately want to be.

Ultimately, Telefantastic Dissociative Delusional Disorder is just a tactic employed by the miserable to deny reality - those who know deep down that the only way their life can have meaning is not through art or expression, giving and charity, a relationship with God but instead by forcibly contextualising everything as being a carefully scripted, story-boarded and rehearsed piece of fiction to be consumed by only the sufferer themselves.

The sufferer inevitably commits suicide or dies in their 'series finale' - Whether their TV Series achieved excellence and a satisfactory conclusion (Breaking Bad), was cancelled before its time and fondly remembered (Party Down), went seasons too long and became a shadow of itself (The Simpsons), (Dexter) can only be determined by the dead sufferer's friends and family at the funeral.

Q; "What's wrong with Caleb? He said he hadn't seen me since 'Season 2', and that he thought I'd been written out, whatever that means?

A: "Dude yeah he's got Telefantastic Dissociative Delusional Disorder' - just nod and smile. He'll kill himself if he thinks his show might be getting cancelled or resorting to cheap plot twists"

Telefantastic Dissociative Delusional Disorder by J-Lime August 5, 2016

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Bunhead

A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.

"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."

Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014

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trucker's tan

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.

I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.

trucker's tan by population361 May 30, 2006

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kidulting

The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys

Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!

kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025

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Boffin

British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.

According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.

Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023

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Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.

I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.

Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026

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