softies 

noun- any item of comfortable clothing made from a fabric soft to the touch; flannel, fur, silk, chenille, et al; worn around the house or to bed.

What a day, I'm tired. I'm getting my softies on.

softies by hugh jafro February 17, 2010

Softies 

A game played by two men, in which each principle removes his pants and, standing face to face with his opponent, swings his limp penis against the other's. The first person to become erect loses and is then subjected to an assault and homophobic slurs.

Keith and James played a game of Softies. Now Keith has a black eye, and evidently he's a fag.

Softies by CamShaft January 19, 2014

tossin' softies 

flacid, male ejaculation (involuntary pelvic thrusts may occur)

All up in da club, tossin' softies.

tossin' softies by tossin softies April 30, 2011

crushin' softies

Is a term of art used to describe a methodology employed by the US Military in an effort to siphon out homosexuals from service in response to the apparent lack of success of federal statute 10 U.S.C. § 654, or more commonly referred to as the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy. If a male serving in any military branch is suspected of engaging in homosexual activity, they will be called before there superior officer and asked to crush softies with one of there peers. To "crush" the suspected gay will pull out his penis and press it against the penis of his crushing partner. The idea is that the male's penis will remain flaccid and non-erect when pressed against the other male's wiener if he straight, thus proving his true sexuality. However if his penis becomes erect (a boner), the male has failed the test, and undoubtedly likes to sex other males in the fanny, thus precluding him from further military service. (Other words/phrases synonymous with the test include: "the crush game", "bumpin' soft-dick", "hamin' sandies" and "Captain Crunchin"). A similar test has been used to target homosexual females, known as "crushin' tits", however results are generally understood as unreliable due to varying room temperatures and the fact that no one cares if hoes wanna scissor each other.

Soldier: "Lieutenant Nilbog I've got some serious news. Private Johnson just got walked in on making a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread and listening to Coldplay!"

Lieutenant: "Holy fuck. Go get Johnson immediately and bring him in here. You two are gonna be crushin' softies till we get to the bottom of this."

crushin' softies by General Goblincock April 14, 2010

cramming softies 

apparently its when a flacid penis gets shoved in a woman's vagina repeatedly

man i had whiskey dick so i was just cramming softies.

cramming softies by belt cottage December 14, 2009

mushin softies 

the act of two males laying stomach to stomach as the male on top's only contact point is his penis. this can only occur with no erections between the two participants.

when one roommate is attempting to wake up another roommate by mushin softies

mushin softies by guysE5 February 11, 2010

Smashing Softies 

A competition between two guys who are standing, have their pants down, and their penis' touching. The first one to get an erection loses.

I'm the king of smashing softies.
You think that, but no one really wins at that game.

Smashing Softies by nedryerson November 9, 2010