A shlinkenminkle is a bra with the main feature being an ice cream cone to cover each nipple. It can be stuck on or strung together in any way but will always retain the same cone principle.
They are always edible. Always.
Cary is wearing a shlinkenminkle today. She is now even more delicious.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.