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Shaved Bigfoot 

GAAAWD, Bruto looks like a shaved Bigfoot in this light!
Shaved Bigfoot by I, Wreckerrr November 12, 2016

I shaved my balls for this? 

A term used to express disdain for any unfortunate incident, especially after too much hype or excessive promotion.
After losing $200.00 at the black jack table Eugene proclaimed "I shaved my balls for this?"
The London term for getting stabbed and either dying or critical condition
i ran down bkay bait faced on a mains and he got shaved
shaved by deezfatnuts January 10, 2021

shaved chewbacca 

an unusually ugly individual
My God, did you see that girl Dave disappeared with? She was a shaved chewbacca.
shaved chewbacca by rhymer rigby August 30, 2003

shaved monkey 

A derogatory term implying that the target is not quite Human; in reality, stating that the target is inferior to the speaker.

Jodl probably doesn't count, even if Hitler calls him a hairless ape with a shiny head.
1. Ivan is the shaved monkey around here and has always been.
2. Speaker: {Target} has the chest of a buffalo and the arms of a gorilla. We call him the shaved monkey.
shaved monkey by decimator1337 November 12, 2014

Shaved head 

A look that gets more fashionable every year.

Contrary to what insecure incels and neckbeards say on the internet, but it's a look that leaves the panties of a lot of women the polar opposite of dry. They really like it. However, having a decently shaped noggin and face are factors to pulling it off but it will still always look better than a combover no matter what.
My hair is slowly going, but I'm going for the shaved head look. My sex life is improving too!
Shaved head by Soul_Driver November 15, 2019