condition 

You're having an all night party. Someone falls asleep. You put some real cummy looking hair conditioner on them to simulate the appearance of someone having ejaculated on them while they were asleep.

PETER: Hey, Bobby, Greg's asleep. Let's "condition" him!

BOBBY: Cool! Perfect, I don't think he's ever heard of that, so it will really get him!

......THREE HOURS LATER......

GREG: (Yawn......wipes face......opens eyes......) What the fuck! What happened to me......GROSS! God damn it! Where are those fucking faggots!

condition by Bar Bare-All Eden June 12, 2006

condition 

to gradually acclimatize another into previously untried or forbidden behavior, control, lead into deep water

By smearing peanut butter on her cooter, she conditioned her doberman to provide her 'non-prime time' pleasure

condition by wriggler February 21, 2005

condition brown

Usually an emergency situation,when a sewer line breaks or when a portable toilet is overturned in a highily visible area and the insueing mess is totally discusting. When spotted people will usually run away.
Could also be a code brown.

A gust of wind blew down the porta-pottie and now we have a condition brown.

condition brown by teh744 May 25, 2008

Condition Zero 

From firearms terminology: chambered, full magazine, cocked, safety off.
Also meaning, you're about to have an explosive movement. Kind of a crisis.

"Why do you look like that?,"Guy I'm condition zero! I NEED A TOILET!"

Condition Zero by youdbesoluckytoknowme January 11, 2014

Condition One 

From firearms jargon: chambered, full magazine, cocked, safety on.
As in: Ready to take a massive poo... But not quite a crisis.
Not as bad as Condition Zero.

Can we stop the car at the next gas station? I'm condition one over here.
We tried Greek but the silly bitch didn't tell me she was condition one.

Condition One by youdbesoluckytoknowme January 11, 2014

condition-based enlightenment 

Defining the conditions that could impact the possibility for one to be in the state of "enlightenment" .
Enlightenment due to favorable conditions. Such as sitting under a tree vs standing in line at the DMV.

All these modern "guru's" have condition-based enlightenment. Have them come shovel some shit while late on their mortgage, and their babies are sick.

condition-based enlightenment by yourheartisaportal January 28, 2018

Condition: Critical 

A second-rate metal band from Vermontville, Michigan. They have limited musical talent and their lead singer is too much of a prep to be considered metal. THEY, of course, think that they are totally brutal and epic. Perfectly nice people in person, of course.

Man: "hey, did you see Condition: Critical at Pit Row last night?" other man: "No, I was at Good Time Pizza." man: "what you doin there, they're pizza sucks?" other man: "I work there." man: "..."

Condition: Critical by the guy who defined "C:C" May 17, 2011