schmoss

A little bitch

dude stop being such a schmoss and suck on her toes

by Ned Bigby March 8, 2017

classic schmosby

It refers to the character Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother. At the end of Ted’s perfect first date, he tells her, “I think I’m falling in love with you.” This was a habit Ted couldn’t break. So every time someone said “I love you” too soon, it was known as pulling a “Classic Schmosby.” And sometimes you later realize that you weren’t actually in love — you just really wanted to be. It’s okay to fall in love, but don’t say anything until you’re sure that’s what you’re really feeling, and wait a little bit. Don’t rush these great times, these beginning stages where you get to know someone and sometimes you can’t even look at them directly because they’re so goddamn cute.

kid 1: You see that brunette? I pulled a classic schmosby on her last night…
kid 2: Dude, wtf? Leave that for the movies

by dastruggleisreal March 17, 2015

Schmassive

A schmassive is a penis of such substantial size it can often be compared with objects such as an Inter Continental Balistic Missile, a zeppelin, a submarine up to such a scale its testicles could be the size of the moon. Following the trend of schlort, schledium and schlong, the schmassive is of such epic proportion to the schlong it is almost separate from the franchise.

Person A: Hey man is my wang a schlort, schledium or schlong dya reckon?

Person B: Ok....Whoa! OMFG that's a fucking schmassive!

by Archbishop-Word-Group March 11, 2010

schmonster

Best breakfast sandwich ever made. It is a breakfast sandwich made with double meat, double cheese, and double egg. either on a bagel, biscuit, or muffin. Only available at Sheetz.

I hadnt eaten anything all day, but the Schmonster capped my appitite for a week.

I tried eating a Schmonster while driving, and it turned into a schmess.

Your mom ate my schmonster.

by GsUPinVA May 12, 2007

schlossered

1. being kept on one's toes for someone's (usually significant other's) amusement, limit testing, or sadistic enjoyment.

1. You've been schlossered!!!
2. I'm totally being schlossered here!!!

by supermodelwannabe May 10, 2008

Schlosser

Schlosser (sh-law-sir) (v): to reply unnecessarily soley for the sake of starting an argument

1. I totally just schlossered this guy, and he got so pissed that he threw his phone across the room.

2. I don't really understand what he's saying, but maybe if I schlosser him he won't realize it.

3. Please stop schlossering, Jared. I actually have work to do today.

by Jspizzle March 31, 2010

schmoosarse

A mythical beast that enjoys tea and reading. The schmoosarse is a very smart being that can bake well. Approach the schmoosarse with caution , it does not like hugs but with multiple people it can be overpowered quickly.

Man, schmoosarse bakes some pretty tasty cakes

by ejg62 August 14, 2011