not-monkey 

Jack-speak for ape.

Comes from an excellent piece of slash fiction called "Dr. Jackson's Diary" that is loosely based on the hit sci-fi series "Stargate SG-1." Although no longer available on the net, it is possible to find this gem if you know who to ask, as it still has a small cult following.

As suggested by the title, this piece of fanfiction is written from the point of view of Dr. Daniel Jackson, an archaeologist and linguist working in the top-secret Stargate Program which is operated out of Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado Springs Colorado. The diary chronicles and entire year's worth of missions, misadventures, and madness.

This fic is generally accepted as rated NC-17 for language and content...read at your own risk.

Quoting from "Dr. Jackson's Diary" 'May: Planet of the Not-Monkey' by Anais:

"Hey, hey--" Jack said, wiping his eye for the forty eighth time. "NOTHING on the MALP reports suggested we were being sent to the planet of the--" he paused. I mouthed the word APES and he added. "--not-monkeys."

We'd already established they were not-monkeys in the locker room, Jack scouring himself under the shower and cursing. "Fuckin' filthy fuckin' disgusting fuckin' monkeys!"

And my stock response; "They're not monkeys, Jack. They're apes."

Hence Not-Monkeys has just become Jackspeak for 'apes'.

not-monkey by Skaara January 23, 2008

Speak to the organ grinder not the monkey. 

Wanting to talk to the boss not his sidekick.
Organ grinders being the boss, and the monkey being the one who helps him out.

Normally used in a conversation to describe the 'monkey' as someone who's interfering and defending or covering for the the 'organ grinder'.

Shut up! I wish to speak to the organ grinder not the monkey.

Speak to the organ grinder not the monkey. by Jadeeeeeeee8 May 30, 2010

not my monkey, not my circus 

this phrase is used when friends or family are discussing other peoples drama and/or trying to get involved in said drama.

Mike: i can't believe that joe's wife is trying to break up their sons relationship with his girlfriend.
John: well, i hope they can work it out instead
Mike: i think we should call Mike and try to talk him out of this very bad decision, maybe we could help fix this situation

John: hey look dude, its not my monkey, not my circus. I'm not getting involved in that shitshow domestic problem

not my monkey, not my circus by WSDC March 5, 2017

Not my circus not my monkey’s

A phrase that is used NONE racial but to let someone know you have nothing to do with the situation and it’s not their business

Why is the night crew not getting their stock up on the shelves before their shift ends?

Not my circus not my monkey’s

Not my circus not my monkey’s by ashane October 7, 2019

Not my Circus, Not my Monkey 

A fancy way of saying “Not my Problem“

Did you hear about the news, and how schools are demanding to keep their sports programs, even though students could catch the Coronavirus?

Sorry sweetie, not my circus, not my monkey. I’m doing school online this semester

Not my Circus, Not my Monkey by AnonymousMarowak2817 August 20, 2020

not my monkey not my shit show 

Lol

not my monkey not my shit show: what are monkeys in cages notoriously known for?
Monkey: *throwing shit*
Me: not my monkey not my shitshow
Or
Friend1: *got stabbed by their dog or smth*
Friend2: not my monkey, not my shit show

not my monkey not my shit show by The Obvious Expert Of All Thin September 5, 2023

im not a monkey, im a scientist 

A phrase commonly used by that really overpowered looking gorilla/scientist bitch who in reality has a pussy tickling gun and needs to be buffed.

Reaper :Get tf back 2 the zoo u monkey cunt

Winston: Im not a monkey, im a scientist

im not a monkey, im a scientist by Memeulous June 2, 2017