newspooper

A person who pays for a newspaper from a coin operated machine, then proceeding to open the machine and poop in it. The newspooper gets pleasure out of the next paper readers reaction.

Damn newspoopers

by itsbenmaybe no its jamess June 21, 2010

Rusty Newspaper

The "Rusty Newspaper" is an act used to describe the actions of a man when he wipes his ass with the front page of the London Times then proceeds to fax the page to his wife when she arrives at work.

Husband- "Did you recieve the paper via fax at work this morning honey?"
Wife- "I did, it seems you've delievered me a "Rusty Newspaper". What for?"
Husband- "You burnt the coffee again this morning you F**king C**t, thats what you get."
Wife- "I hope you at least cleaned the shit off the fax machine".

by Uncle Ty October 15, 2012

newspaper head

Someone who sits with a newspaper in front of their head instead of paying attention to the suroundings.

"hey dude check out that newspaper head over there"

by JD dudemaster March 5, 2010

Newspaper Bag Swag

When you bring your lunch to school using a newspaper bag to contain it

"Hey Charlie! Can I read the comic section"
"Well actually Claire that would be my sandwich"
"Wow Charlie, You have so much Newspaper Bag Swag!"

by ClaireBear600 November 7, 2011

newspaper

A homeless person's blanket.

Tyrone prefers the LA Times newspaper to the Daily News newspaper to keep himself warm at night.

by 47 September 13, 2008

Newspaper

A pre-internet (i.e. ancient) current affairs blog that featured spell check and editorial standards. Occasionally they might run issues (postings for those who are not fluent in grandpa speak) featuring commentary and reactions by people who might write in complete sentences and direct their statements to something called an editor (this word is not available in Webster's .8).

"Hey man, check out the low res images they have on this free tablet they are giving out at the bus stop."
"Dude, its stuck on this one program. It might be broken"
"Wait, I think this is one of those things my dad keep telling me about...you know, a newspaper."
"Woooa."

by helios1014 November 2, 2013

Polish Newspaper

Oral Sex performed onto someone while they are on the toilet.

Bobby was drunk last night so Tina gave him a polish newspaper he'd never forget.

by Clump Chlumpkins November 7, 2013